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House Babble for Holding On

Since it's 129AM and I'm not going to be able to sleep until I get this off my chest. Please note I'm writing in the dark with no glasses. Typos AHOY!

I'm not going to bother with Patient of the Week. House didn't care. The writers don't care. I don't care. It made now sense. There was all this ominous hinting that there were be some BIG SECRET about the brother that accounted for the patient's illness and the nothing....like the writers thought they were working so hard on the other crap that they couldn't be bothered, aside what is presumably supposed to be the big tragedy of the patient "losing" his dead brother. Which is just a variation of Half-Wit and a dozen other episodes where the "cure" takes away some the patient is emotionally attached to. Yeah, we get it.

Meanwhile....I'm so angry. On behalf of the characters I loved AS THEY WERE GIVEN TO US. On behalf of the fans who understand that these are not those characters. They would never say those things. EVER. Even on behalf the fangirls who lapped it up like faithful cows and SWOONED at the horror show and kept screaming "kiss now" or think the ending is another invitation to more hurt/comfort slash while the writers LAUGH at how well they've managed to use them.

I can't believe that Wilson fell for the fake patient schtick even for a few seconds less than three weeks after the fake son scam, and that anyone in the audience was even remotely moved it. That Wilson won't let his parents answer House's call, which is a plot point only because the writers are too lazy to give us the parents or Fox is too cheap to pay someone to play them.

Mostly I'm infuriated by how close they're actually getting to an emotional truth. House's pain outburst was perfect. The moments when Wilson rejected House were completely in character. Clearly, IF sane people were writing, instead of crack monkeys, we'd understand with squicky falling anvils that House is afraid to lose Wilson NOT out of "love" but out of sick and twisted neediness and that Wilson has only let his life come to this because of his sick and twisted need to be needed. Remember House Vs God, kiddies. Nothing's changed. If they were telling us that story, I wouldn't be on the verge nausea every single minute.

Instead (even thought I still think the crack monkeys know better) they're playing the slash fan card and channeling the WORST fanfic of the early years. Poor woobie crying Wilson. GET ME A BUCKET! Wilson begging House to say he loves him? YES, that's always been part of the subtext, but it's also something that should never ever be said out loud by either of the characters. The fact that I was spoiled for it by Tumblr gifs tagged with the smushname proves what's happening and how disgusting it is. (Just because it works on those willing to be manipulated is no justification.)

Why can't they tell us the honest, co-dependent story that they were able to tell us back in Babies and Bathwater. House doesn't care about Wilson. He cares about Wilson being there for him. Wilson dying is just a more permanent version of Wilson getting married, which he'd also fight to stop. I know some of you want to believe that House is now this schmoopy ball of emotion who is willing to admit that he loves Wilson. But he's not. He's a self-absorbed bastard, who in the one moment he was actually involved in the diagnosis was closer to the actual character than he's been since Chase got stabbed. PEOPLE DON'T CHANGE.

That car scene was just complete character violation and fan violation. BLECH. VOMIT. PUKE. There are no words ugly enough for how bad it was.

Don't even start me on the bullshit with Foreman and the bathrooms. Or the fact that House was more than happy to go to a fight in Atlantic City with Foreman and leave Wilson sitting home by the phone, so that bit rang pretty damn hollow. I assume of the destruction of the MRI (aside from the plot point to put House back in jail so he can break out for some "moving" last moment with Wilson, who I still say ain't gonna die) was for the crack monkeys to giggle at themselves and maybe TWoP for destroying the MRI of Dooooooommmmm. (Have you noticed that even the TWoP reviews have gone to hell in a bucket? When the show was great, the snarky reviews were great too.)

The only good moments were the piano-gasm, the pain outburst, two seconds of House diagnosing and oddly enough the conversation with Thirteen. Those who have expressed concern about Ms. Wilde's weight will be happy to know that she seems to have bulked up from her previous state of near emaciation. She's also inherited Jennifer Morrison's season 4 dye-job. The weight looks good. The blonde, not so much. But at least she had a conversation with Wilson that wasn't nothing but fanservice and falling anvils. It almost sounded like how Wilson might actually speak in that situation.

I'm sure the crying scene was another one intended for RSL's Emmy Reel, but it was really revolting and excruciating for all of us at the House party Death March to watch.

When this show I'm going to mourn not what it has metastized into but only show that existed for 2 1/2 seasons and which was betrayed, distorted, destroyed, ruined and generally abused for the past five years.

It should never have come to this. I hung in this long because I was attached to the fandom and the dream of what the show had been.

I will never make that mistake for any fandom again.

See ya next week for the final insult.

I'm going to try and sleep now. I'm sure this thing is full of typos. Just let me know and I'll clean them up tomorrow.


( 16 comments — Leave a comment )
May. 15th, 2012 04:34 pm (UTC)
Here's what I agree with.

1) The POTW of the week was dreadful. His mother wins the prize for Worst Mother Ever, and there is some heavy competition. Also, since when do 30-year-olds cheerlead?

2) If they have House discover an afterlife I'm going to have to cut a bitch.

3)Patient schtick with applause. Hell, no! (There is a special circle in hell for whoever invented the "one person applauding then a few more than everybody" moment.) Wouldn't Wilson have recognized them? We knew it was a scam the instant House introduced "Mikey." Why not a simple conversation about how many lives Wilson has saved? They're always doing that to justify whatever House is doing.

4) Sarah M quit TWOP last year after "Moving On." Montykins just recaps the show, doesn't review it.

5) Are the PPTH plumbers as bad as the security guards? WTF??

Beyond that, we'll have to agree to disagree. Still, your rants are really enjoyable, and I'm not saying that sarcastically.

May. 15th, 2012 04:40 pm (UTC)
Thanks sweetie! Not to dip into the level of sap that the crack monkeys are dishing out lately, but I always enjoy your take on the episodes as well and I plan to keep you on my F-list after this ordeal is finally over. I definitely stayed on the bus as long as I did after the show had clearly died because of all the people I was on the bus with, such as yourself.

ETA: Maybe I missed it because I was too busy frothing at the mouth, but what the hell was the BIG SECRET about the brother? I totally didn't get that at all.

Sometimes I wonder who has the bigger Mommy issues, David Shore or Russell T. Davies, although with Shore it's pretty much ALL parents or anyone who would ever want to be one.

Edited at 2012-05-15 04:42 pm (UTC)
May. 15th, 2012 04:45 pm (UTC)
The BIG SECRET about the brother was...was...uh...no, wait, don't tell me...uh...damned if I know.
May. 15th, 2012 04:51 pm (UTC)
Thank you! Couldn't they have tasked at least ONE crack-monkey with that plotline so it would actually make SOME level of sense?
May. 15th, 2012 09:36 pm (UTC)
how close they're actually getting to an emotional truth. House's pain outburst was perfect. The moments when Wilson rejected House were completely in character.

This. Sorry, it's getting late here, so I can't stay long if I want to read what everyone else has written.
When I watched this my heart was breaking for you... but if RSL does get an Emmy it would only be right, he deserved it in the past (and even here, it's not like the lines he says are his choice).

As for the fanservice, well, I'm just waiting for the shit to hit the fan. Which I'm sure it will,with a big splash, in the finale (sorry for that image).
On the other hand, I'm so shallow that I just found each of the two incredibly fascinating, and the images of this episode will help me visualize my favorite fanfics. Now I just need a fewminutes of hardcore sex physical affection in the finale and I'm all set ;).
PS I know you're generous enough to still like me despite my shallowness.
May. 15th, 2012 09:38 pm (UTC)
This too shall pass. (Speaking of fit hitting the shan.) And we will still be friends when it's over, and this whole fandom moves on to its next white-cock pairing. I have a nice, brutal bit of angst-wank percolating for tonight, which I think you'll enjoy.
May. 15th, 2012 10:06 pm (UTC)
I recorded but after reading a bunch of comments (including yours, of course), my gift of peace-of-mind to myself will be to delete without watching.

*goes off to eat brownies*
May. 15th, 2012 10:07 pm (UTC)
Brownies! GOOD! Nom nom nom. Much better than the episode.
May. 15th, 2012 10:45 pm (UTC)
It's not even possible for water from a clogged toilet to cause that much structural damage in that short period of time. That only comes from shoddy shortcuts made during construction. But then again, what do I know? It's not like I watch Seconds from Disaster and Modern Marvel: Engineering Disasters. Oh, wait, yes I do. At most, all you would have is soggy shoes and the tickets wouldn't be that far down the line. Plus, most bathrooms in hospitals have a drain in the floor, allowing water from overflowing toilets to drain away in case such an event happens.

Plus, that water looked rather clean considering its source. It was filthy toilet water, not the clean clear from an overhead water tank that we saw earlier. It would have been heavy with human excrement. Plus there was no debris that I could see in the general burst of water and yet somehow we have injured doctors. Just a massive gush of water that clearly came from an overhead tank.
May. 15th, 2012 10:48 pm (UTC)
It's nice to know the crack monkeys can botch basic plumbing and engineering as effectively as they do medicine and characterization. Dis-credit should no-doubt be shared with the production team.
May. 15th, 2012 11:01 pm (UTC)
Personally, I'd love to know why PPTH has no emergency shut-off valve.
May. 15th, 2012 11:02 pm (UTC)
For the same reason they have no effective security?
May. 15th, 2012 11:06 pm (UTC)
What I would like to know is how tickets cause more clogging power than the maxi pads countless women accidentally flush down the toilet. Stoppages of the toilet system, not a new thing. And Foreman = bag of dicks. Wilson hasn't stopped breathing yet and he's now deciding to become House's Boswell?
May. 15th, 2012 11:11 pm (UTC)
This is your creative team of simians on drugs. Clearly absolutely no one involved at any level honestly gives a shit anymore and I am sadly including the actors in that.

The bit with Foreman was beyond stupid. I think someone looked around and noticed that Omar was still in the caste and literally couldn't think of anything else for him to do, so they had to undermine (again) whatever growth or respect MIGHT have developed between House and Foreman so they could keep pandering to the H/W fangirls who are essentially the only portion of the fanbase they haven't completely alienated.
May. 17th, 2012 11:20 am (UTC)
Gosh I don't know what to think about the season finale!

A friend of mine whom I used to watch House with sent me an email telling I HAD to watch the season finale with her (and some others) ... so I will check whether I can stand the "final insult" to our (once)beloved charachters .....but reading your rants has already given me a hint!
May. 17th, 2012 02:56 pm (UTC)
It's the Finale period. The end. I can't imagine watching it for any kind of actual pleasure in the characters, but only out of curiosity, just see how low they can go. I mean it is literally the END OF AN ERA. I assume I'll keep writing H/W fic, but this will be the final bit of canon that influences what that writing is.
( 16 comments — Leave a comment )


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