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100 TV Shows-#21 House MD

In honor of tomorrow's broadcast of the last episode ever of a show that used to be amazing, now completely sucks and has helped define my life for the last six years.

House MD

Six years of House MD fanfiction

Six years of House Babble


10 Great House MD moments. (All int he first two seasons, all showing how great the show used to be, and how badly TPTB screwed it up when they started putting in deliberate H/W fanservice.)

Wilson: Benadryl might help.

House: I already did 1000 milligrams. [He sneezes]

Wilson: Steam room?

House: Why Jimmy!

House: You can’t tell Chase, but I can. What should I do?

Wilson: Oh! This is where I give you advice and pretend you’re going to listen to it. I like this part. Did Rowan ask you not to tell?

House: I promised I wouldn’t. My fingers were crossed, though, so I’m wide open.

Wilson: I was wrong! This is the musing-out-loud part! Do I actually need to be here?

Dr. Lisa Cuddy: Your reputation won't last if you don't do your job. The clinic is part of your job. I want you to do your job.

Dr. Gregory House: But as the philosopher Jagger once said, "You can't always get what you want."

House: What makes a guy start drooling? Chase, were you wearing your short shorts?

Wilson: Have you... ever cheated? Well, I have. You wanna punish him, good for you; but you can't do it without punishing the people who love him.

Cameron: Is that how you justified lying to your wives?

Wilson: I always told them.

Special attention to Cheating-Wilson deniers. Please note, he said "wives."

Role Model
House: "He didn't have any reason to lie."

Wilson: "Everybody lies .... except politicians? House, I believe you're a romantic. You didn't just believe him - you believed in him. You want to come over tonight and watch old movies and cry?"

The Mistake
House: "Chase loves me. And isn't Turkish."

Wilson: "Cameron loves you. Chase loves his job."

Role Model
Cameron: "I thank you because it means something to me. To be grateful for what I receive."

House: "You are the most naive atheist I've ever met.... People pray so that God won't crush them like bugs. I'm not gonna crush you."


House: I am not treating you.

Kalvin: What, because you're a closet-case? [gives House and Wilson a pointed look]

Wilson: Err... we're not... err... together.

House: [turns around to give Wilson a look] He is so self-loathing.

(NOTE: This is what H/W looked like BEFORE the blatant fanservice set it. The last line is probably one of the most honest in the whole eight years.)

Paula: How you doing? You work over at the college? Or are you full-time over at the--

House: I'm looking for a distraction. You don't need to talk to do that, do you?


( 20 comments — Leave a comment )
May. 21st, 2012 07:29 am (UTC)
Actually, wasn't #2 from "Cursed"...?

May. 21st, 2012 09:35 am (UTC)
I am SO impressed. By both of you.
May. 21st, 2012 02:37 pm (UTC)
I USED to be able to quote large swathes of at least the first three seasons Chapter and Verse, but it's harder now. I did go into the transcripts to C&P the quotes, so there was NO EXCUSE for mixing up those two titles.
May. 22nd, 2012 05:56 am (UTC)
Aw shucks, I'm blushing!

May. 21st, 2012 02:36 pm (UTC)
It was indeed. For some reason I ALWAYS mix those two titles up. There's no excuse though, since I knew it was Cursed last night when I looked the damn quotes up to get the wording right.
May. 22nd, 2012 06:00 am (UTC)
Despite not having seen it in a while, I don't think I'll ever forget that ep, since I watched it about eight times while I was writing, "Underlying Causes". (Because I've adored Patrick Bauchau since "The Pretender". Or maybe it was "Kindred: The embraced". Whichever came first.)

May. 22nd, 2012 06:23 am (UTC)
It's SUCH A GREAT episode! House/Wilson, House/Chase, Chase & his Daddy Issues. Debbie from accounting! The kid wasn't too annoying and even though the "parents suck" pattern was already pretty well established, Nestor Carbonell did a good job with the part.

I've probably asked this before, but did you ever see Choose Me? That was the first thing I ever saw Patrick Bachau in. He was a nasty guy and he slapped Leslie Ann Warren in the face, but he was compelling character. (And he was in my beloved Enigma, but only in a small part and he didn't make a big impression.)
May. 22nd, 2012 06:41 am (UTC)
Actually, I liked the kid from "Cursed": I recognized him from the "Spy Kids" movies. So I'm easy to please. I'd forgotten about Nestor, though.

Never saw "Choose Me", but I did waste a couple hours of my life on "The Rapture". (He's only in the first half hour or so, then it's just David Duchovny and Mimi Rodgers, way too much religiousity and the most godawful depressing ending ever.)

May. 21st, 2012 08:28 am (UTC)
That's it: "it has helped define my life for the last six years" for me too.
I don't know if I'm going to read your post before I can see the episode, but I would like to thank you for six years of wonderful posts!
May. 22nd, 2012 06:24 am (UTC)
*HUGS* It's over for me now and I'll have the babble up tomorrow. It wasn't as bad as it could have been, but it was much worse than it should have been.
May. 21st, 2012 10:04 am (UTC)
I disagree with your cavalier attitude towards end-of-sentence periods, although not as much as with Kalvin's parents spelling ability.

I didn't know that there were cheating-Wilson deniers, although the asshole logician in me begs to point out that on the basis of the quoted sentences alone he might have been faithful to one of the wives, and/or lied to all of them but not always about cheating (or just making fun of Cameron, because he would totally do that). However, I love the fic with him using post-infarction House to cover his philandering ways too much to ever believe him faithful.

My most favorite part of the post: the mood declaration. Everybody indeed.
May. 21st, 2012 02:45 pm (UTC)
Feel free to blame the punctuation suckitude on the transcription folks or me for C&P ing without paying much attention. I think I've got the full stops back where they belong.

HELL YEAH, there are cheating-Wilson deniers, or at least ones who like to claim he ONLY cheated on Bonnie and ONLY with House. Unfortunately the latter-day crack monkeys may have tried to go into that that camp when they implied that the only thing that broke up Sam and Wilson was idiotic tripe about milk and glasses instead of Wilson being the philandering bastard that we (and House) know he is.

Aside with the Spin Quote, I've got enough material in the first and second season to easily make the multiple cheating case. In fact, before I decided on the other quote from Cursed, I was actually going to use the Debbie from accounting dialogue.

Wilson makes fun of Cameron when he's with House. When they have actual dialogue together it's either horribly sincere or confrontational.
May. 21st, 2012 02:23 pm (UTC)
One of my favorite quotes is "They used to have more respect for cripples...no, they didn't."
I used to have it as an icon, but I lost it.
May. 21st, 2012 02:46 pm (UTC)
It was nearly impossible to narrow it down. For those first years, pretty much every single line was a little gem.
May. 21st, 2012 03:08 pm (UTC)
I'm hip.
May. 21st, 2012 07:03 pm (UTC)
#5. You might like the fact that in my most recent fic I threw out that nonsense about Wilson never having had any three ways. He'd had lots of them, including at least one involving hospital staff. He'd also had sex with Park.
#10. The onset of one of my most hated tropes, the Bizarro World Hooker.
May. 21st, 2012 08:14 pm (UTC)
I completely repudiate Wilson's lack of threesome along with the utter bollocks of him never paying for it. He may not have to do it as much as House, but I'm fairly sure his "date" was Robin (Airbone) was not a pure freebie.

I still consider #10 to tell us something far more real about House's hooker needs than any of the crap about him having a "favorite" with whom he actually TALKS.

May. 21st, 2012 09:21 pm (UTC)
Oh! This is where I give you advice and pretend you’re going to listen to it. I like this part.
I was wrong! This is the musing-out-loud part! Do I actually need to be here?
You want to come over tonight and watch old movies and cry?

Classic Wilson! Ah, the good old days.

I'm not gonna crush you."

Famous last words... :((((

I have more to say, but I'll save it for my House-finale blog. (and your final House!babble)
May. 26th, 2012 05:56 pm (UTC)
It's amazing how much characterization they used to be able to get in with snarky dialogue. I know more about H/W from that exchange than any of the drawn-out bromance crap of the last few months. e
May. 30th, 2012 08:15 pm (UTC)
Too bad that level of quality dialogue and characterization proved un-maintainable....
( 20 comments — Leave a comment )



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