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How many ways can I feel like shit?

1. For the last few weeks (months?) I've really felt the relationships with my co-workers have been deteriorating. Steve's passive-aggressive Oppression Olympics BS is really getting on my nerves and I've been pissy about the East Coast girls leaving reservations unticketed and saying "Keep an eye on this." Then if something goes wrong and they don't get ticketed, it becomes our responsibilty. This has been especially prevalent with Danielle in NY.

Yesterday, the client who was making my life miserable with the international trip in this post decided to change his return routing. This required rebooking, repricing, reticketing, etc etc. I was going to be a nightmare. For some reason, the call/email went to Danielle, rather than me. She called me and asked about the client and I'm afraid I let my cray-cray banner, fears, anxiety, and close to the edgeness fly pretty blatantly.

This should have completely been MY PROBLEM. It was my original booking. My ticket. A record she'd never even laid eyes on, and a client she had virtually no familiarty with. If I were her, I'd have dumped this right back in my lap and gone running a mile in the direction and I'd have had every right to.

Instead she just dived in, took the bull by the horns and dealt with it. She also ended up staying at least until 9PM her time. Mind you, she works out of her home, but still. She didn't have to do. She shouldn't have done it. She did it efficiently and calmly and about 100 times better than I would have, but she shouldn't have had to.

I feel so guilty it's not even funny. I mean absolutely lower than whaleshit.

2. The job hunt is making me feel OOOOOOOLLLLLLLDDDDDD! What is the matter with people? Whatever happened to real people with real phone numbers and real emails who actually replied to applications instead of robo replies and no one ever gets in touch. YUCK!

The last time I needed a job (in a similarly emotional situation) I called up my friend Dean, I asked if anyone was hiring, he send me to Tom Keim and I started on Monday. The time before that...one interview-BAM. Always. I'd call up someone, either a placement service or a friend and BAM.

None of this happens anymore. Everyone uses the internet to hide from you. People post jobs that don't exist. Nobody ever talks to you, or calls or emails. WTF?

I'm still determined to get out of here, but I'm less convinced it will actually happen.

3. Speaking of people not talking to you...

Remember that management job that they put me through hell with their stupid "Candidate Assessment form" and then never bothered telling me if I was even still in the running to be interviewed, so I assumed I wasn't?

Got an email the other day. More than two weeks AFTER when they said they would get in touch with people to be interviewed.

Hi—HR Lady would like to spend about 30 minutes with you. This is her availability:

• Wed. 11:30 until 1 E
• Thursday 10-12E
• Thursday 1-2E

Please advise when you would like to speak with HR Lady and the best number for her to reach you.

Since I had requested some one-on-one time with HR, thinking I was NEVER going to be considered for the position, I was mightily confused, and emailed back to verify that this was the ACTUAL INTERVIEW for the management position. It is and I'm talking to them at 10AM tomorrow. I still don't think it's going any, so I'm not telling Hubby, but goddamned people, nice way to leave me twisting slowly in the wind.

Why is it so hard for anyone to send an email when they said they'd get in touch just to let me know I was still in the running, which might have fended off my near total melt-down last week when I thought I wasn't.

I still want out of here for a zillion reasons, but it would have saved me a lot of pain, if I'd known I had an iota of a chance. As it is, I've put out all these feelers and for all I know it's going to come back to bite me on the ass.

If they offer it to me, I'll take it, but I really don't think they will. Anyone know the calorie count on crow?

4. Scale god-136 2/3. I promised myself I could have a quesadilla if I got down to 135. I rode extra miles on the bike, shaved calories to the BONE and gained 2/3 of a pound. I'm blaming hubris and ONE night-eating slip of one cup of mango (107 calories). I was kind of scared that the quesadilla could trigger a dumpster dive so maybe I was self-sabotaging. But I really wanted it.


( 6 comments — Leave a comment )
Mar. 19th, 2014 05:59 pm (UTC)
Job hunting has always been like that for me, with no one ever bothering to call me back or anything.
Mar. 19th, 2014 06:33 pm (UTC)
I'm delighted you're pursuing a new job. Even better, you have a follow-up interview. Congratulations!

I have a lot of experience with job interviews from both sides of the table. Hope you don't mind me sharing with you what I learned (or you're welcome to ignore): It's okay to be assertive at interviews and ask, "How am I stacking up with the other candidates?" It gives you a great opportunity to correct any misconceptions they might have. Also, "What's the next step in your interview process?" "When should I expect a response?" The latter can lessen your anxiety during the waiting period, plus gives you an excuse to show off your assertiveness by following-up after the the time has lapsed. I don't know why, but cited response times often stretch beyond what's given. You'd think the employer doesn't need to hire someone.
Mar. 19th, 2014 06:43 pm (UTC)
Just to clarify-the interview is for the internal position that I applied for and assumed they'd been dicking me around for over a month, which triggered my whole melt-down and determination to leave. So far not a single feeler via a job posting has gone anywhere, although I am seeing my old boss next week, even thought she doesn't have any openings.

But yeah, it's still better than nothing and I hope to go in from some position of strength.
Mar. 19th, 2014 08:02 pm (UTC)
Okay, gotcha. Interview teams can get irritatingly hush-hush.

Good luck!
Mar. 20th, 2014 05:25 pm (UTC)
I've been out of work (thanks to a layoff) since May. I've been going to job fairs and filling out applications out the wazoo. I've had 2 (count em 2) interviews and neither panned out. No call backs, hardly any of them letting me know, zip. Finally got something temporary with the state thanks to Goodwill Job Services but there's no guarantee how long that'll last and it doesn't pay as much as my old job did.

The only thing I can offer is keep trying and DON'T quit before you're sure you have another job. (the one piece of advice from my Mom I've always listened to) It's bad out there.

Good luck - you're in my thoughts. Hang in there if you can.

Mar. 20th, 2014 07:13 pm (UTC)
When did the employment world get so fucked up? I've had an easier time getting jobs in worse economies than this.
( 6 comments — Leave a comment )



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