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I still can't believe it!

A year ago, I was in so much misery at the Desk of Doom, hating every single day I had to go there, and even though I'd lost the initial chunk of weight, I was all about low-fat,, calorie restriction, chronic-cardio and self-hatred.


Getting this gig with Amex is such an absolute miracle! The work can be exhausting, because I'm engaged and ON all the time, but I get to say yes to people and help them and get love and respect in return. I'm not just putting up with bullshit and having nightmares because I'm afraid of getting fired for some stupid screw-up or because I didn't kiss enough butt.

Lately I've had to work some hours that are rough for me, but we're currently operating with two less employees than we're supposed to have and the team is pulling together. The situation will be alleviated in a month or so, and in the meantime, the team-leader appreciates how much we're all putting into the job.

I'm just over 4 months or so since my last Binge and have not touched sugar/gluten/wheat/grain/sweetener or dairy (besides butter) in that period of time. I'm still dealing with the food/body/scale obsession, but not "dieting" or "calorie restricting" and I'm aiming to get my carbs as low as possible go LC/HF.

Great love to my friend Jim for turning me on to Paleo, even though I'm now way more hard-core about it than he is.

My main body goal now is mobility...trying to undo so many years of damage from chronic cardio and other abuse. I'm determined to try and stay away from pain-killers and relievers, although attempt number 1 went tits up yesterday. I still need to find a "dressy" shoe that I can stand in without getting cramps in my calves.

I'm committed to all facets of my yoga practice, including Kirtan and Ayurveda. One of my major intentions is to get into a head-stand this year.

I'm also maintaining my meditation practice, although not as Zazen as Hubby would prefer.

And after years of saying the Twelve Steps couldn't/wouldn't/didn't work for food, I'm back in OA, with a sponsor and everything...still getting over my Post Traumatic Graysheet Disorder...and on the brink of a First Step.

I love my job, and if I get into the sugar, I will get stupid and screw up. It's that simple.

My life is a million times better than I could have believed a year ago. Then my best hope was getting into dog-walking. Unfortunately my dream version of that---me on my bicycle, pulling up and walking dogs in their neighborhoods---didn't exist. God bless my friend Lowell who said, "Well there's this..." and sent me the link to the job posting.

The time it took to get through the interview process (two phone, one face-to-face, and then the background check) was excruciating, but now I'm a Member Services Professional and I can honestly say I love my job AND I'm good at it, two things that were patently untrue one year ago.

Oh, and apparently the only thing we're going to do about those fibroids is wait and see.

I wish you all the same peace of Mind and Body that I've found.




Lokah Samasta Sukhino Bhavantu.


Comments

( 14 comments — Leave a comment )
asia27
Jan. 6th, 2015 04:28 am (UTC)
Wonderful news. If I can achieve half of what you've achieved this year, I'll be happy. :D
karaokegal
Jan. 6th, 2015 06:27 am (UTC)
I had to hit a lot of bottoms to start crawling back up.
asia27
Jan. 9th, 2015 07:11 pm (UTC)
And I am confident you will have a wonderful 2015! :D Amazing what change and a great job will do for one's outlook :D I wish you all the best!
srsly_yes
Jan. 6th, 2015 12:45 pm (UTC)
What amazing growth. Would you ever had thought it possible two years ago? Congratulations!
karaokegal
Jan. 7th, 2015 09:38 am (UTC)
When I interact with people, even outside the Lounge, and I'm joyous, friendly and open, I honestly wonder who I am. I was NEVER that person, or at least I didn't think I was.
tourmaline1973
Jan. 6th, 2015 06:25 pm (UTC)
I'm so glad it's still so good.
karaokegal
Jan. 10th, 2015 03:43 pm (UTC)
It's really amazing...I was so unhappy for so long. I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop. At the moment, the one not-so-great part is Hubby being a bit of a butt-head about lack of "us" time, which is clearly a valid beef on his part.
sharp2799
Jan. 7th, 2015 01:01 am (UTC)
I am so, so happy for you!
karaokegal
Jan. 10th, 2015 03:42 pm (UTC)
Thanks, hon! I'm so grateful for all of it...which is another thing I didn't experience much in my miserable wretch days.
_duncan
Jan. 7th, 2015 10:14 am (UTC)
yay! especially for landing, holding and liking the happy/helpful new position.
karaokegal
Jan. 10th, 2015 03:40 pm (UTC)
I love it so fucking much. Right now I'm just tripping out about my schedule because Hubby is not liking the lack of "us" time, and I'm hoping to fix it in the next shift-bid, but there's nothing I can do about it NOW.
joanne_c
Jan. 9th, 2015 07:31 am (UTC)
I am so happy for you. You are, in the best ways, completely different. *hugs*
karaokegal
Jan. 10th, 2015 03:39 pm (UTC)
I can't believe that yuletide came and went with absolutely no involvement (or interest, tbh) from me.
joanne_c
Jan. 11th, 2015 01:18 am (UTC)
If you're meant to be interested again, you will be, if you're not, you won't. Though I do think True Detective was eligible... ;)
( 14 comments — Leave a comment )

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