karaokegal (karaokegal) wrote,
karaokegal
karaokegal

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Just a check-in post...

I did five days of closing shift in a row...and due to our short staffing situation (soon to be somewhat alleviated) I did a lot of it on my own. I more or less rocked, and still hit six yoga classes last week and walked at least one mile every day. I'm awake right now with about four hours sleep and heading for another class in 45 minutes.



I'm sort of turbo-charged on Bulletproof tea, which is my take on the Bulletproof Coffee craze.

I made a tactical decision in tweaking my food plan. I re-re-surrendered my "comfort foods" of nuts and dried fruits. I love them too much. I wasn't binging, but I FELT bingey. I don't want a cup of nuts. I want ALL THE NUTS. And dried fruit was doing bad thing to my gut AND my blood sugar regulation. I gave back the carrots as well and the coconut that Mollie Stone was nice enough to see all broken up into chunks for me. In return, I've taken back caffeine in the form of the Bulletproof tea and one tablespoon per day of either honey or maple syrup. (Which thanks to Roger Miller, I think of as "syrple.)

It's good to show up for yoga, but it's better to show up awake.

I'm considering giving up the gym membership and the ongoing illusion that I will ever have a "gym body," but that then raises the new illusion that I will ever have a "yoga body."

I've even got a private yoga lesson scheduled with one my favorite teachers. (Christmas present from Hubby...whoooooo----hooooo!)

I'm really digging in to trying to curtail some of my other food craziness. This week it was the whole "standing up and eating in the kitchen" thing. OMG! I had NO IDEA how bad it was. So fucking mindless. When I actually paid attention and forced myself to stop, I literally had to short-circuit my hand going to the food like ten times just to make myself walk three steps to the living room and sit down like a person, instead of standing there, shoving food in my face like the kid sneaking food that I used to be.

The last BIG THING is my work schedule. Right now I'm off Monday & Tuesday, which I love, but now that Hubby is back at work, contains absolutely no nights when we're off at the same time to go to a movie or even be together doing nothing. He is an increasingy un-happy camper about this, which is fair enough.

There is going to be a new shift-bid soon, with me in the third spot in seniority, so fairly likely to get my first choice. The problem is I don't know what the choices are going to be yet. So I'm already working up a full head of resentment over giving up something...probably my Monday night OA meeting, to give Hubby what he wants, without knowing what is even going to be available.

Clearly I need to fucking let go of this. Easier said than done.

Tags: blog, exercise, food, journal, personal
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