karaokegal (karaokegal) wrote,
karaokegal
karaokegal

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ME. On a retreat.

I still can't believe I'm going to do this. It's sort of the flip side of 2009, A SQUEEEEEEE ODYSSEY!



In that adventure I went to Birmingham (UK) IN JANUARY to see John Barrowman in Panto and then to London to see Burn Gorman in Oliver! in the West End. It was a blast, but totally insane, and I have a hard time remembering being the person who was THAT obsessed with all things Barrowman, with Torchwood, with Jack Harkness, and the pit-of-my-stomach fear over what was heading our way in Children of Earth.

I know I still have a lot of spiritual house-cleaning to do over that part of my life. Even re-reading some of those posts is pretty painful. Because I cared SO MUCH. And my holy righteousness was so very, very near and dear to my heart.


Now, I'm hopefully on a better path. I've been planning for this retreat for over a year. There was one last year, but at the time I didn't have the money and there was no way to get the time off. I spent most of the year saving up the money. Then there was a fire in Napa Valley that destroyed the originally intended location of the retreat. Harbin Hot Springs.

Astrud located another location for the retreat. Hidden Villa.

My next challenge was PTO. (Paid Time Off.) I'm #3 on the seniority list, but if #1 or #2 had wanted the same dates, I would have been SOL. (I'll assume you know that one.) I had emailed both of them MONTHS ago just to see if they were interested in those dates and could be bought off, and neither one ever responded, so I went into the PTO bid with no idea if I'd get the time. I GOT THE TIME!!!

That just left scoring a ride. Astrud (Teacher, Guru, Kirtan Singer, Girl Crush) kept saying it would work out, and I did my best to leave it up to the Universe, with basically telling everyone in sight that I needed a ride and putting flyers up at the Yoga Studio.

And one day RIGHT after I chanted Guru Ram Das (a mantra to the "Lord of Miracles), I got a text from someone offering me a ride. I told my sponsor I know that correlation doesn't equal causation. She replied that there is synchronicity.

So now it's happening, starting tomorrow. Yoga. Meditation. Chanting. Hiking.

Naturally I'm tripping out about the food, because it's vegan/vegetarian and I don't eat gluten/grain. I've talked to my sponsor, my food buddy, and the Universe. I have an action plan and few packets of walnut butter in my bag. My basic abstinence will be the one-plate rule, with the added caveat that whatever I end up eating, I'm not going to be a dick about it. This is about setting intentions and recommitting to my practice, NOT about being a speshul snowflake regarding food. If I do end up eating gluten/grain, it will not kill me or be an invitation to continue eating them when I'm back in the real world, or a binge trigger. I do not eat recreational sugar, nor will there be any reason to. I'm assured that fresh fruit will be available.

Of course what I'm REALLY concerned about is the comparisons between my Yoga practice and everybody else's because I kind of suck at Yoga, despite taking 3-5 classes per week for over a year. Just today I think I might have gotten into Crow pose for like a mili-second. I can't get my leg all the way through from Downward Facing Dog during Sun Salutations. I'm a million miles away from even a decent boat pose. I know when I look at the person on the mat next to me, I'll want to "strive in another's dharma."

Mostly I'll be there for the chanting. That I'm really good at. (As hubby says, it's the Yoga version of Karaoke.)

I'll be fine. It's going to be awesome, even if no snogging is involved.

The snogging was definitely fun though.

Tags: blog, journal, odyssey, personal
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