When I saw Jon Stewart on THE Late Show on Stephen Colbert's first night back in the studio with the live audience, I was struck by how much I LOVE him and Evie and my good old Jon/Stephen Fake News RPF AND my Stephen/Keith fics AND Keith/Rachel (yeah, I know).
That led me to thinking about my Hugh/Bobby saga. Some of the happiest writing times of my life, working with my beloved Beta Goddess and being so tinhatty, I believed beyond a shadow of a doubt that the two gentelman involved were actually having an affair. I even came damn close to believing my John Barrowman/David Tennant fics were rooted in reality. We all know I was "bat-shit crazy" as many people stated at the time, and in the throes of my addictive behavior around food. So yeah, basically miserable, but the highs involved in the fandom activity were pretty good highs and on some level I miss it.
The dream as Take That RPS, which is odd because while I wrote a few vignettes of Robbie in the Who-verse I never particularly shipped any combinations and wasn't completely up on the whole Robbie/Gary psycho-drama at the time.
I'm working (very slowly) on a RPF story involving Marilyn Monroe and Dorothy Parker, suggested by my sister. I don't have a lot of time anymore as I prioritize crazy stuff like Recovery, Work, and Sleep now.
I wrote a Yuletide story last year under a sock, but the muse and the writing muscle aren't there the way they used to be. I'm happy that I'm busy at work, anticipating a return to Yoga in the studio in September and my going back to my beloved Mint Karaoke Bar, although I'll be happier when they chill out and drop the mask thing. I'm sorry kids, singing in a mask sucks donkey ballls. Working in it leaves a lot to be desired, but TSA says that goes on at least until September. One does not simply walk into Mordor and one does not argue with TSA.
But on the whole life is good. I wanted to dance in the aisles of Trader Joe's yesterday while I was shopping without a mask. I'm a much happier and better person than I was when I was cranking out the RPF like it was going out of style and Stephen was my Fake News fandom bicycle always guilt-ridden about cheating on Evie, but always doing it. Now if I were writing, it would have to be Stephen/Evie/John OT3.
Wishing you all Happy Juneteenth, Independance Day, Life Without Masks.
I'm currently doing Virtual Karaoke, but I was going to try and watch an on-line Kirtan as well. Clearly I wouldn't be completely focused, but it's also a fund-raiser for Covid relief in India.
There I was desperately trying to give them money and I could NOT get past the Captcha. I kept clicking. I logged in and out. Either I'm to be a dork to find the stoplights, busses, bicycles etc or I'm not supposed to be dividing my time between the sacred and the profane, as it were.
So I'll stay on Karaoke and just find a way to make a direct contribution to Covid Relief in India.
The Roxy Theater is OPEN!!!! I saw actual people going in today.
I haven't had a drink from Peet's/Starbucks/Green Beans etc in six days.
Lounge hours are going to be extended in June. Insteaed of 945AM to 615P, I'll have 1045AM to 715PM. It's not my beloved Vampire Shift yet, but I'll be able to finish my 7AM Yoga class, instead of having to bail off the Zoom call at 740AM to get ready for work.
Bad attitude: I still fucking hate masks. And it looks like they're still a requirement at the airport at least until September. Which explains why I had to stop the commercial caffeine again. I was using my Peets' fix to soothe my rage, rather than practing acceptance.
How can I sleep when that psycho-women has just launched her so-called "Kraken" lawsuits and Trumps legions of Brown Shirts are jumping around and howling like rabid babboons?
I know I'm powerless, that I have to turn it over, let go; let god...but I'm failing epically. I haven't had a decent night's sleep in three weeks and I'm so traumatized from the ghosts of 2000 and the fear of what's been done to the judiciary that I'm convinced he's going to get away with it via SCOTUS and the House.
It's not a game that plays to my strengths, whatever they may be, at all.
Unfortunately hubby has adopted chess as one of his lockdown interests/obsessions and although he is now playing games on chess.com, I'm playing at least one a day on days off. It's about being agreeable. I do manage to win sometimes, if hubby gets distracted and makes a dumb move, but statistically not doing that great.
Maybe I can dig up a Scrabble set and try and get something on the agenda that I have a better chance at.
(We're watching the Queen's Gambit on Netflix. I wonder how much child abuse I have to sit through to get something about chess.)
I'm going back to the Lounge!!!!!!!
I survived 4 months in customer service hell....ok, let me rephrase that, I was lucky enough to have a well-paying job in the safety of my own home during a pandemic, when many people had no jobs or had to go out and risk their health to stay gainfully employed. In other words, I am one entitled first world bitch. Having said that...customer service sucks and/or I suck at it. The whole culture of "good is not good enough" left me traumatized from people yelling at me, people who were distraught that I couldn't actually help, people of mature years without their hearing aids attempting to negotiate the website, and anxiety that at any minute I was screwing up and would get fired.
The worst was the feeling that this was never going to end.
But it is.
And I didn't get into the food. Gratitude for the Program, my Sponsor, Sponsees, program fellows, zoom meetings and my higher power.
Much love to my husband for putting up with some big-time mishegas through all this, when during the same time he was working three nights a week and had at least two exposure scares. Miraculously we have not killed eachother.
Answer to a question nobody is asking: No. I'm not doing Yuletide this year. Possibly never again, but not this year. Not nominating, not signing up, not looking for pinch hits or writing treats.
I'm proud of the stories I wrote the past two years, but I just don't have the emotional energy anymore.
I did get great stories, but ending up on the Pinch Hit list two years in a row doesn't say much for me being in synch with general YT Zeitgeist.
Last night I was watching Jay's Virtual Pub Quiz and there back-to-back questions: 1. Who played Jack Harkness in Dr. Who and Torchwood? 2. Who played Dr. Greg House? It was like someone had been monitoring the two characters I was most obsessed with between 2006 and 2013. Even more so when you remember that the gateway drug to my Jack obsession was being asked to beta a Wilson/Jack crossover fic.
Plus I got a Birmingham question correct recently because I remembered the Bullring from the Squeeee Odyssey of 2009.
Love to you all. Stay Safe. Be Kind.
I'm Going Back To The LOUNGE!!!!!!!!!!
First time since Lockdown.