karaokegal (karaokegal) wrote,

Happy House Day!

Yes, I'll be watching tonight. No, I'm not expecting anything good. I'm honestly trying to remember if I've ever seen a show so totally self-destruct and completely annihilate everything that made it wonderful for little purpose. I've seen shark-jumps and flame-outs, but nothing like this, where a show that was nearly perfection screwed it up so badly.

Every great piece of characterization and wit and genius casting has been abandoned.


Ten things that MIGHT help make it marginally better. (I doubt it can be saved.)

1. 13. Gone. Immediately. No explanation needed. No mourning required. Like she was never there. (If they do that, I'll sanction keeping Taub around for those of you who actually enjoy him, but I never ever ever want to see or hear his whiny, passive-aggressive, unappealing, wife again.)

2. House must relapse. Completely and fully. Start with the fact that he's drinking and everyone around him is ignoring the fact and let that be the gateway.

3. House and Cuddy cannot be happy, unless it's made clear that they're both in denial about how miserable they are and that House has NOT forgiven Cuddy for the surgery. (Once House has relapsed, let the Vicodin affect his libido, and have Cuddy be a bitch about it, since we know she gets cranky when anything interferes with her sex life. Yes, we all fanon that House is awesome at oral, but on this show that doesn't exist at least from men to women.)

4. Wilson should marry Sam. And immediately fall right back into the patterns that broke up his marriage to Julie including confirmed heterosexual cheating and the relationship with House. House must be as obsessed with breaking up Wilson and Sam as he was with every previous Wilson relationship.

5. Bring back Cameron.

6. Stop making the Patient of the Week have ANYTHING to do with House or any of the fellows. Get some interesting cases again. You know, the kind of medical mysteries that were the original point of interest, rather than this soap opera drivel.

7. Bring back clinic duty.

8. Bring back the humor.

9. Bring back House's hair.

10. Hire me as a writer. Stop the fanservice. Give House and Wilson their Stupid Screwed Up Friendship where we know it's banter and blowjobs, but it's not spelled out and there's no bogus schmoop which exists only to be undermined. Put up or go back to subtext.
Tags: house babble, house md, ranting

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