karaokegal (karaokegal) wrote,

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30 Days of Letters Meme

Ganked from speccygeekgrrl

Each day for the next month, write a blog in letter form to the following people:

Here's the list

Day 3 — Your parents

Dear Mom & Dad,

What the hell were you guys thinking?

I mean in some ways I do know. You were both reacting to your individual upbringings with a determination to do things differently. You didn't want to put too much pressure on us or impose too many rules beyond what was determined to be necessary for our own absolute safety and even that was fairly loose in terms of any actual consequences.

My sister refers to it as "benign neglect," but I really have to wonder if it wouldn't have killed you to push me a little harder, especially academically. Why was I allowed to coast for so long on my much-vaunted potential? Yeah, I was smart enough to get away with it for awhile, but what if I'd actually studied enough to make really good grades, get better SAT scores. What if you'd actually stood over me and made me apply to more schools. Or if I'd actually tried to pass my pre-requisites in college instead of just going to school and sleeping in the parking lot.

Did you guys have any clue what an unholy, out-of-it fuck up I was at the time? If not, why not? I was living at home, sleeping on the couch, going out with Tommy a lot, and keeping the family clunkers going on my Pell and Tag grant money.

Seriously---I'm not sure I would have done better with more pressure and I had to mess up school irrevocably before I had the impulse to get off the couch and come to San Francisco, but I'd just love to know how things were allowed to get that way.

Love you mom, miss you dad.

Tags: 30 days of letters meme, meme

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