Each day for the next month, write a blog in letter form to the following people:
Here's the list
Day 14 — Someone you’ve drifted away from
I feel like I abandoned you, which sucks, because a lot of people have disappointed you in your life. You were there for some really bad times in my life, and I'll always love you for that. You had a massive influence on my tastes in music, my writing and my sensitivity to gay issues. You, along with Paul Lynde and Truman Capote are essentially responsibility for making me the fag-hag I am today.
I know you weren't happy when I left New Jersey, but I had to go, and eventually you did too, although I'm still not clear on why you chose Nashville. We wrote back and forth for years, exchanged cards, but it was never the same as the days when we'd hang out or talk on the phone for hours and hours and hours. We did some crazy shit together and I'm not sure we were all that good each other, in spite of how desperately we clung in our mutual misery.
The last time we spoke was during the period when my husband was in the hospital from Motorcycle Accident #1. You were having a boyfriend/hustler drama. There was shouting and tears and cops and there really wasn't very much I could do for you. You just wanted me to be there for you, the way I used to be, and I just couldn't do it. I don't have those hours anymore. I don't have that emotional energy.
I know I could email you right now, but then you'd call and I'd get sucked into the vortex and hubby would be wanting to know who I was talking to and how long it would be. Which would be fine if it was a few times a month, or even once a week, but I know you. It's all the time. Every night. And it's always the same drama with different names.
So I'm not emailing you and not picking up the phone. Because I love you, but I can't be the friend you need and deserve. For which I'm truly sorry.