karaokegal (karaokegal) wrote,

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30 Days of House MD

Meme of Doom ganked from cuddyclothes and chocolate_frapp.

Here are the questions

Day 12 - Your favorite funny scene

All the scenes with "Cow Guy" in Sex Kills, especially the first one.

(Scene cuts to male patient waiting inside the clinic room for House)

Patient: I wanna get depo provera.

House: [is surprised, but hides it as he closes the door] Actually, at your age, as long as you're careful, the risk of you getting pregnant is pretty limited.

Patient: Yeah but it would calm me down, right? If I get a high enough dose.

House: You mean calm as in... peaceful lake on a cool summer evening? Or in the lesser used meaning of nothing can ever bother you again because life has absolutely no meaning? High dose of depo provera will chemically castrate you.

Patient: Yeah. [long silence]

House: [draws a deep breath] Ok... I'm going to get up to leave now. I'm going to walk to that door, turn the handle, and then you're suddenly going to decide that you have to tell me the truth. I'm going to have to turn around and come all the way back. You see the thing is, my leg hurts. Can we cut the walking out of the equation?

Patient: I love cows.

House: [is puzzled. Pops a vicodin] Any particular variety? Corrientes? Holstein?

Patient: Which are the black and white ones?

House: Oh god.

Patient: I pass a farm on my way to school. And they're so beautiful. They're so majestic I dream about them. Leather shoes, hamburgers. How can anybody do that to a cow?

House: Make love, not belts. Beautiful.

Patient: I haven't actually--

House: Oh relax; it's something we doctors deal with all the time. And I'm going to write you the name of a drug, you don't need a prescription and looks just like depo provera.

Patient: But does it do the same thing?

House: Oh god no. That stuff has all sorts of nasty side effects. It's real medicine. Now this is all you need, your frat buddies will be completely fooled. You tell them how appalling the doctor was, lots of laughs.

Tags: 30 days of house md, meme

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