Warning: Sacrilege. Possible crack or just crap depending on your point of view.
Notes: Drabble-a-Day 2011. Day 127. MMOM Day 7. Prompt from lilithisbitter: Torchwood, How Jack Harkness perfected the hand job. Unbeta'd. Comments and concrit apprehensively welcome.
Summary: A tale from the Time Agent days.
“You invented the hand-job?” Owen sneered in disbelief.
“Not invented, exactly,” Jack clarified, “but I did perfect it. What else could I do? It was 1655 and he was a Franciscan novice.“
“And they sent you on an assignment to a monastery?
“Better me than John.”
Owen shrugged in agreement.
“He couldn’t ‘lay with a man’ and he couldn’t touch himself without risking eternal damnation. So I found a way around the problem.”
He smiled at the memory. A whole fortnight of learning exactly which touches brought Ezra to orgasm most effectively.
Too bad he hadn’t taken out a patent.