House party attended by evila_elf and michelleann68. (Welcome back Michelle. Sorry you had to be at the party for such a load of fecal matter.)
There was essentially only one good thing about this piece of dreck: Jesse Spencer. He looked great. Chase got to be awesome and it was clear that House and/or Hugh was happy to have him back. The fact that I’m actually not sure where those smiles were Hugh or House is a problem that I’m willing to overlook for the moment because they were such nice, sweet, if fleeting smiles, and I love seeing that chemistry between the characters and/or the actors.
The awkward hug was adorably awkward and I think it might have been a shout-out to Half-Wit.
I also liked the Chase/Foreman and I think Foreman had another good week actually showing us someone trying to adjust to the pressures of management while still maintaining some medical credibility. I liked that he spotted the monkey DNA, but I’m pretty sure everything about that scene was completely unrealistic.
Everything else was pathetic. The roll that the show has been on since the beginning of the season came to a horrible, screeching halt and it started the minute Taub showed his pinched, ugly, repulsive annoying face.
I’m so disgusted I can barely form coherent sentences, so I’ll just do a nice rambly list of everything that was mindbogglingly stupid, offensive, clichés and just plain wrong with this episode.
1. TAUB. His very presence really dragged down the mood and energy. There is absolutely no reason for his existence of the show. He offered nothing to the case itself and any good snark written to be delivered by a short person is being more than ably handled by park.
2. Small town boosterism that plays like something out of a Andy Hardy movie inevitably means small town hypocrisy out of Peyton Place.
3.Yes, we get it. Sex still kills. Only bad people have sex, except for House’s sex with hookers, which is good because it’s honest and is presumably meant to distract us from the sex House is having/has had/wants to have with Wilson.
6. The babies. Aside from believing that they were both Taub’s brats, we are also supposed to believe that they were conceived close enough in time to be the exact same size and that Mrs. Whiney Passive Aggressive Taub and Nurse Stupid Slut would let their babies be together and be taken care of by Taub or that both of them are even talking to him.
7. The word “legitimacy.” ALMOST offensive in and of itself, but completely mis-used by Taub. Technically, unless he’s bigamously married to both of them, at least one baby (Nurse Stupid Slut’s) is illegitimate because it’s parents are not married. I was never clear on whether Taub and Mrs. Whiney Passive Aggressive Taub were officially divorced or not because NOBODY GIVES A FLYING PHILADELPHIA FUCK ABOUT ANY PART OF THE STORY LINE.
8. The only thing “illegitimate” in this episode was calling Taub part of the old team. He’s not. He never was. He’s part of the group of newbie pretenders who were foisted on a nauseated audience in Season four. He’s the last remaining vestige of a cancer on a once-great show that needs to be removed and never spoken of again if said show is to have any hope of returning to its former glory.
9.House is really supposed to give a shit about the kids and whether they’re Taub’s? REALLY?
10. House is really supposed to be that willing to make Taub miserable and still have any use for him as a doctor?
11. The entire hospital is in on the betting pool over the kids? It was MARGINALLY believable when they did that plot for the *puke* “Survivor” plot, but this? The entire staff of PPTH is NOTHING but cretins? AND Taub still wants to work there?
12.Wilson. Yes, we know he’s not “nice,” but his behavior on this was beyond OOC. I get he’s supposed to be a little harder this season, and I kind of bought that he wouldn’t want to get sucked into being Foreman’s go-to person about House following the Cuddy debacle, but since he then did get snookered into the whole baby-sitting mess, that make no sense. Even RSL didn’t seem terribly interested in selling any of it. Complete and utter waste of Mr. Leonard’s time and talent. Seriously Bobby-get the hell out of dodge. There are better shows that would be happy to have you. If Lisa E. can get The Good Wife, you can get something that doesn’t make me worry about your emotional well-being on a weekly basis.
13. Back to the Patient of the Week (zzzzzzzzzzzzzz). The entire population of Andy Hardy-ville would really turn out to offer a liver? And then go squealing off into the night after a bunch of ludicrous sounding confessions? What the fuckety fucking fuck?
14. STFU ADAMS. I might as well get used to saying it, because much as I want to love her, she is completely being used as Cammerclone Mark 3.0. Aside from evil, cheating, straw-man husband, I’m guessing some BIG TRAGEDY lurking out there in her past to be exposed in a VERY SPECIAL EPISODE. I’m also wondering if they’ll give her a House-crush or go straight to a Chase/Adams affair.
15.Martinis? Yes, House is an addict, and I’m also happy to note that they’re not even pretending that his addiction is being managed in any way, and I love that he’s using opiates and alcohol. However…IN THE HOSPITAL? With no one mentioning it? And MARTINIS? Hugh might be a gin and tonic kind of guy, but House is generally seen drinking Scotch, Makers Mark etc. The whole Martini thing was just weird.
16. Office building thing. JUST MORE WTF for a completely pointless payoff. Was that supposed to be this weeks fanservice? Reminding us that House is so obsessed with Wilson that he needs to know what he’s doing 24/7? Is there any way Wilson wouldn’t have noticed what was going on during the building, even if it was all happening at night? The entire time line was bizarre for that and RSL’s delivery of “No,” just wasn’t enough to redeem the shaggy dog joke.
17. Kawasaki disease-last seen back in “Histories.” I swear, there was nothing the least bit interesting, compelling or believable about the patient this week and I didn’t give a shit whether he got away with being evil (i.e. having sex) or not.
18. TAUB! The only thing that might have justified the existence of this episode would have been if it led to Taub having a 13 moment and deciding to walk away. Without that, there was virtually nothing good in the episode aside from the aforementioned Chase moments.
19. TAUB-GET THE FUCK OFF MY SHOW AND NEVER COME BACK!
Meanwhile, the NCIS/House casting crossover jollies continue. Last week’s NCIS contained a delightful cameo by Meredith Eaton a/k/a Dwarf-mom. It was great seeing her, especially when she flirted with Fornell. Joe Spano’s reactions were absolutely adorable.
Personally, I think Diane is one of those characters who should have always remained unseen, but I loved the Gibbs/Fornell stuff so much, I’m sort of willing to accept having her veil of mystery lifted. I thought the actress did a great job, especially when she was messing with Tony.
I also think that Gibbs/Fornell remains a good example of a slash ship pairing where the audience is allowed to do the work and that Bellisario et al would be kind of horrified to know what lurks in the hearts of fangirls rather than attempting to spoon-feed the shippers and pat themselves on the back for being oh-so-clever about it.
Or maybe I'm just getting my kind of subtext VS spew-inducing fanservice, because my ship isn't the kind that makes most fan-girls wet their panties and annoy TPTB on Twitter.