karaokegal (karaokegal) wrote,

House Babble for Blowing the Whistle

This is it guys. The final countdown. The bitter end. The home stretch.

It's going to be a LONG eight weeks. And I suggest reading this at your own risk. I have FEELINGS! Many of them will be unpopular.

Going right to the House/Wilson stuff, but mostly general thoughts about H/W and slash in general.


House/Wilson in the first two seasons used to be like a delicious éclair full of complex flavor and hidden delights. Made with great ingredients. Very expensive and served so rarely that every bite was delicious and it was desperately missed when not around, and very often withheld. You might get one super subtexty moment every few episodes with the rest being buried like currants in a pudding.

Once TPTB got ahold of the idea that there was a specific following for the H/W slash, it immediately ceased to become wonderful and rare and delicious. It was placed in every episode and made cheap and coarse and depressingly available. House/Wilson is now Twinkies. Every line of slash bait is obviously written JUST to create the effect rather than push the story forward or even tell us anything special about the characters. It MIGHT taste good going down. OMG!!!! House is talking about fucking Wilson again!!!! SQUEEEEEEEE!!!!

If you really like Twinkies, great. But you should really think about what eating them does to your body and soul.

Frankly, anybody who is currently shipping and drooling and lapping up a pairing that has “fangirl bait” written all over it, especially of the monochromatic, male/male variety, complete with Tweets from the head writers or actors, again designed to titillate the fan-base’s collective tush while never ever admitting that anything is ACTUALLY going on, should look at themselves and ask if they really like Twinkies or whether they deserve something better than contempt and pandering.

I want my slash to be subtexty and slightly subversive or what’s the point? That’s why I don’t consider canon gay relationships to be slash. It’s missing the thrill that made discovering our own slash pairings so sexy and powerful. Slash should be like a Paul Lynde line from Hollywood Squares where you get that awesome feeling of OMG, did they just say that and did they mean what it sounded it like or am I imagining things? That’s what slash should be like. Not blatant and unfunny lines about “juggling jewels” or “plowing furrows” that are designed to simultaneously provoke Pavlovian drooling in fangirls AND slap them down by saying, “See, they’re not doing it. House jokes about it, only because he would never actually do it. Bad, fangirls. BAD! And here’s some more, and we know you’ll come back begging for more.”

I know a lot of this is generational and I’m showing my age. My history with slash go back to Kirk/Spock, when the idea of them having gay sex was shocking and radical and you did NOT talk about fight club slash. Whatever level of love Rodenberry et al imagined or wrote for the characters, they absolutely did not envision it to have a sexual component. The fact that we can watch the episodes now and some of them are insanely slashy has to do with chemistry and inadvertenant subtext. This can apply to all the great early slash pairings like Ilya/Napolean, Starsky/Hutch, Harry/Johnny (a ship based on pretty much a single look in one movie) etc.

I’m not sure when it happened for other fandoms, but to me the moment when House/Wilson started going from éclairs to Twinkies was Hugh Laurie’s appearance on Inside The Actor’s Studio when the girl got up and asked who House was going to end up, and all breathless and giggly and naughty mentioned House/Wilson along with House/Cam and House/Cuddy. Hugh handled it well, and it helped inspire one of my RPS fics, but I honestly wish we could have that one back. And that the writers had never acknowledged that they had any idea there was a following for H/W.

Yes, I want the toothpaste back in the tube. I want innocence and naughtiness and subversion and slash that we can see, but that got there by itself.


I reallyreallyreally HATE “ripped from the headlines” episodes. I hate them in all TV shows, and it’s one of the reasons I gave up on L&0 ages ago, and I reallyreallyreally hate them on House, because it’s a dead give-away that they’re not going to even try for an interesting medical solution. The episode will ONLY be about arguing the social issues (while never actually taking a stand) and the soap opera.

So we got a “Frankenstein” episode, mashing up Bradley Manning, completely wasting Sharif Atkins (Jones from White Collar) and re-hashing plots from Half-Wit and No More Mr. Nice Guy, with a little of Finding Judas thrown in for bad measure.

Hey, remember when the medical solutions WERE actually interesting and it wasn’t just a matter of us knowing that it couldn’t be sarcoidosis, NOT because of anything having to do with the symptoms, but only because it’s already BEEN sarcoidosis.

Was anybody surprised by ANYTHING this week? The Spartacus joke was telegraphed a million miles away. There was no way in HELL House was actually sick. The gay references were stale. michelleann68 pretty much called the BIG SECRET about the father at about the 40 minute mark.

Let’s talk about the recycling. This is by my count, (let me know if I’m missing any) House’s third time of faking illness and the second where the ONLY point was to mess with the team and/or Wilson. Since we AND Chase have already been through Half-Wit and No More Mr. Nice Guy, what should have happened was for Chase to tell them something concrete, rather than just hang back and let them stew. If they still didn’t believe him, that would be their problem. For him to KNOW it had to be BS and then get sucked in anyway, is just character destruction, almost as bad as another week of making Park the object of most of my STFUs for the episode. I want to like this character so much. I’m writing hot sex for her and Wilson. Stop making her a whiny bitch. Please.

Back to "Half-Wit" for a minute. One of the last near-great episodes before things went totally pear-shaped. For one thing, it was a great show of exactly what a fucked up addict House is. It also gave us the Chase “I’m going to hug you” and the Cameron “You kissed back.” Plus the awesome Piano-gasm of “I Don’t Like Mondays.” And a genuinely thought-provoking moral dilemma that was handled with a modicum of sensitivity rather than having cardboard cutouts standing around spewing facile talking points.

The best thing about "No More Mr. Nice Guy" was the look of devastation on House’s face when he realized that Wilson HAD told Amber he was faking. It was a great moment that pretty much proved my particular H/W thesis about them ALWAYS hurting each other.

So on one level, the writers know those episodes occurred. Maybe they even know about Chase being the “rat” in the past with Vogler and the fact that held out against Tritter. But House should know that too. Also, having House with a rat and NOT referencing Steve McQueen in some way? SACRILEGE.

Everything about the "witch-hunt" was botched, especially the H/W scene. Of course it's Wilson, it's always Wilson. The writing of the whole thing was just so bad, than I assume the writers really don't know what they're doing.

It’s really getting hard to tell what’s recycling, what’s deliberate allusion and what is just pure mindless stupidity on the part of the crack monkeys.

Next week looks really bad. And stupid. And coarse. And obvious. Especially if they decide to recycle the ending of Who's Your Daddy. Which will PROVE how much House cares about Wilson. And will make me very, very nauseated.

Tags: bitching, greg house, house babble, house md, house/wilson, james wilson

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