Part of me wants to just turn on my capslock of rage and just keep screaming “THIS IS BULLSHIT!” over and over and over again. Because this is SUCH bullshit. And it’s bad writing. Bad writing 101. The amount of telling with no showing to back it up whatsoever is mind boggling. The amount of non-continuity from anything we’ve heard or seen before or even from last week is ridiculous. For the second week in a row, the diagnostics have no sense of urgency at all. Yes this was always part of the schtick, with House interpolating his abuse of the team into the DDX, but there USED to be some pretense that House cared about curing the patient or at least solving the mystery. When they actually threw in the curiosity about the doll this week, it came as such an afterthought that it was like someone found an old scrap of paper that said “House likes mysteries” and jotted two lines into the script at the last minute.
But let’s talk about the biggest, smelliest pile of BULLSHIT and why it could have worked if the crack monkeys had put down the pipes and laid a bit of groundwork.
HOUSE DOES NOT GET ATTACHED TO HIS HOOKERS! In fact, we’ve never seen the same hooker twice. They’ve already completely undermined this premise by doing the episode where we went through something like 15 hookers in one episode and never the same one in a second scene. If they wanted to do that joke, they shouldn’t have tried to come back and play this one.
I love House and his hookers. I like it for proving how fucked up House is and that even if House/Wilson is happening, it’s not enough for him and he is probably also using the hookers to hurt Wilson by showing Wilson that he’s not enough or conversely to punish Wilson for continuing to have relationships with other women. Either way, the hooker thing is an excellent way to undermine H/W schmoop/fluff AND show that House is an addict, including possibly a sex addict. I have tons of fanon of exactly what House wants and needs from his hookers. NONE of it involves entertainment or fixing appliances. In fact, we KNOW what House wants from his hookers. Remember Distractions? He was very polite to Paula while more or less telling her to come in and do her job and NOT TALK TO HIM!!!!
Now, IF they wanted to create this scenario, how about bringing back Paula, or one of the others we’ve seen get pulled into his plots…like the one who helped him punk Kutner and Taub. If she was in House’s bed in one or two episodes. Just THERE. Just so we could see there was ever a possibility of a “favorite.” BUT NO! A character lands out of nowhere, and we’re TOLD she’s his favorite and hilarity (NOT!) ensues and again I call BULLSHIT! BULLSHIT! BULLSHIT!
ETA: rassfraggin comments to report that this particular hooker has appeared before. However, I still call BULLSHIT, as there was no indication of this alleged relationship or the idea that she was in anyway a favorite.
Saw the “break-up the engagement” attempt coming a mile away. Kind of liked the idea of Dominika as his partner in crime, although even that bugged me a little. I do like Dominika, but the part of me that remembers when House and Wilson were partners in crime sort of sensed what was coming, especially when Wilson started dropping the Anvils. What should be a metaphor for House’s relationship with Wilson is instead being used to set up House/Dominika? I don’t believe they’re really going to go there for end-game and despite the promos I don’t THINK they’ll actually sleep together. I LIKE Dominika and I have to say that the only real acting Hugh did in the whole episode was his little moment of epiphany and pain.
HOWEVER, again on behalf of the H/W contingent….BULLSHIT! I hope you all noticed that the H/W shippers were being blatantly slapped in the face. Did House throwing out the letter remind you of anything? How about House erasing a certain message so Wilson wouldn’t leave his apartment. I’m supposed to believe that Dominika at this point means as much to him as Wilson did in the late 2nd season? Again, Hugh acted the hell out of it, so I kind of do believe it, but I know that it is meant to be a slap against H/W and if we do end out with H/W as end-game, then it’s not victorious for H/W shippers, but only that House did manage to drive everyone away and he and Wilson are stuck together. That could still be construed as an H/W victory, especially by House, but I will be laughing my ass off at schmoop/fluff contingent, almost as much as David Shore is. Wilson will essentially be the “consolation prize” that we were told he wasn’t.
When Wilson talked about “your last relationship,” I honestly thought he was talking about Stacy until he mentioned jail. That’s how little respect I still give the idea that House/Cuddy was a “relationship” or that he ever really cared about her. Also, keep in mind the title and the Annie Hall reference, both hark back to Failure to Communicate. I still feel like House/Stacy is still more meaningful to House than any “relationship” he’s had since, not counting Wilson.
Speaking of BULLSHIT! A doll? Really? And House just going on and on and on about how the members of the team can’t have relationships because they’re all scared, instead of making the case that he’s the one destroying their lives and self-esteem so that they’re drawn to either promiscuity or each other. I also like the way they had to skirt the fact that Chase was married because then they’d have to admit that Cameron existed and I’m guessing that’s a big no-no these days.
Was the “have sex with each other” bit a shout out to the fanficcers or just an admission that there’s virtually no chemistry among the new team at all?
Two Wilson scenes, where his job is either to lecture house or be cheerleader for House/Dominika. (Yeah that worked so well for House/Cuddy and even House/Cameron---remember Love Hurts.)
Foreman MIA for the second week in a row. Since House was barely interested in the case, he didn’t bother doing any “crazy” treatments which would necessitate a Foreman showdown. This proves how irrelevant the actual medicine has become to the show and how unimportant the “Dean of Medicine” position is to House’s practice of medicine except when there’s a show-down. You’d think Foreman could have at least showed up to do a double-take or a slow burn at one of the hooker applicants.
A hooker side point…obviously House would have access to high end escort services and would have to use street hookers, BUT I think his personality would be more drawn to them, and I’d love to see him with someone a little rougher. However since they don’t want to go there and show any kind of prostitutes besides cleaned up Hollywood glamour girl types it REALLY is ridiculous to have anyone spout talking points about degradation or demeaning. Has the show ever had a real down and dirty crack-whore type as a patient or something? I can’t remember, but my general feeling is that every single prostitute has been the upscale variety, including Paula and Robin (the hooker from Airborne, who is still residing with Wilson’s brother on Island of Lost Plot Points.)
Unfortunately there was no way any writer could make the motivation for the “favorite” believable, and it was embarrassing to realize she was ONLY being stuck there and generating this entire load of BULLSHIT to get us to House thinking he’s falling in love with Dominika.
Taub is still awful, ugly, appalling, revolting, useless and needs to be off my screen as soon as possible. I still don't believe he can pull chicks and I still do believe he's being used (as is Chase's new-found promiscuity) to make us forget that the real Wilson ever existed. IT WON'T WORK!
Patient Diagnosis (which could also be the diagnosis for the whole episode): Stupid. Lame. Although at least it wasn’t contingent on a SHOCKING SECRET!
Closing montage: BLECH! Park is losing me, but I still want to like Charlene Yi. Having her butcher I Got You Babe is NOT helpful and a whole montage devoted to Every One is Miserable and the implication that the loser with the dolls is actually more healthy than the rest of the team and that House is falling in love with Dominika just reminds of when this show used to do that kind of thing brilliantly.
Walter Reed it sure as hell wasn’t.