I'm not going to bother with Patient of the Week. House didn't care. The writers don't care. I don't care. It made now sense. There was all this ominous hinting that there were be some BIG SECRET about the brother that accounted for the patient's illness and the nothing....like the writers thought they were working so hard on the other crap that they couldn't be bothered, aside what is presumably supposed to be the big tragedy of the patient "losing" his dead brother. Which is just a variation of Half-Wit and a dozen other episodes where the "cure" takes away some the patient is emotionally attached to. Yeah, we get it.
Meanwhile....I'm so angry. On behalf of the characters I loved AS THEY WERE GIVEN TO US. On behalf of the fans who understand that these are not those characters. They would never say those things. EVER. Even on behalf the fangirls who lapped it up like faithful cows and SWOONED at the horror show and kept screaming "kiss now" or think the ending is another invitation to more hurt/comfort slash while the writers LAUGH at how well they've managed to use them.
I can't believe that Wilson fell for the fake patient schtick even for a few seconds less than three weeks after the fake son scam, and that anyone in the audience was even remotely moved it. That Wilson won't let his parents answer House's call, which is a plot point only because the writers are too lazy to give us the parents or Fox is too cheap to pay someone to play them.
Mostly I'm infuriated by how close they're actually getting to an emotional truth. House's pain outburst was perfect. The moments when Wilson rejected House were completely in character. Clearly, IF sane people were writing, instead of crack monkeys, we'd understand with squicky falling anvils that House is afraid to lose Wilson NOT out of "love" but out of sick and twisted neediness and that Wilson has only let his life come to this because of his sick and twisted need to be needed. Remember House Vs God, kiddies. Nothing's changed. If they were telling us that story, I wouldn't be on the verge nausea every single minute.
Instead (even thought I still think the crack monkeys know better) they're playing the slash fan card and channeling the WORST fanfic of the early years. Poor woobie crying Wilson. GET ME A BUCKET! Wilson begging House to say he loves him? YES, that's always been part of the subtext, but it's also something that should never ever be said out loud by either of the characters. The fact that I was spoiled for it by Tumblr gifs tagged with the smushname proves what's happening and how disgusting it is. (Just because it works on those willing to be manipulated is no justification.)
Why can't they tell us the honest, co-dependent story that they were able to tell us back in Babies and Bathwater. House doesn't care about Wilson. He cares about Wilson being there for him. Wilson dying is just a more permanent version of Wilson getting married, which he'd also fight to stop. I know some of you want to believe that House is now this schmoopy ball of emotion who is willing to admit that he loves Wilson. But he's not. He's a self-absorbed bastard, who in the one moment he was actually involved in the diagnosis was closer to the actual character than he's been since Chase got stabbed. PEOPLE DON'T CHANGE.
That car scene was just complete character violation and fan violation. BLECH. VOMIT. PUKE. There are no words ugly enough for how bad it was.
Don't even start me on the bullshit with Foreman and the bathrooms. Or the fact that House was more than happy to go to a fight in Atlantic City with Foreman and leave Wilson sitting home by the phone, so that bit rang pretty damn hollow. I assume of the destruction of the MRI (aside from the plot point to put House back in jail so he can break out for some "moving" last moment with Wilson, who I still say ain't gonna die) was for the crack monkeys to giggle at themselves and maybe TWoP for destroying the MRI of Dooooooommmmm. (Have you noticed that even the TWoP reviews have gone to hell in a bucket? When the show was great, the snarky reviews were great too.)
The only good moments were the piano-gasm, the pain outburst, two seconds of House diagnosing and oddly enough the conversation with Thirteen. Those who have expressed concern about Ms. Wilde's weight will be happy to know that she seems to have bulked up from her previous state of near emaciation. She's also inherited Jennifer Morrison's season 4 dye-job. The weight looks good. The blonde, not so much. But at least she had a conversation with Wilson that wasn't nothing but fanservice and falling anvils. It almost sounded like how Wilson might actually speak in that situation.
I'm sure the crying scene was another one intended for RSL's Emmy Reel, but it was really revolting and excruciating for all of us at the House
When this show I'm going to mourn not what it has metastized into but only show that existed for 2 1/2 seasons and which was betrayed, distorted, destroyed, ruined and generally abused for the past five years.
It should never have come to this. I hung in this long because I was attached to the fandom and the dream of what the show had been.
I will never make that mistake for any fandom again.
See ya next week for the final insult.
I'm going to try and sleep now. I'm sure this thing is full of typos. Just let me know and I'll clean them up tomorrow.