karaokegal (karaokegal) wrote,

House Babble for Everybody Dies

First a quick, sentimental thank-you to everyone who has read and commented on these posts over the last six years. I realize a lot of you haven't always agreed with me and some may have been out and out offended, but most of you stuck with me anyway. (Including those who kept telling me I should just stop watching the show for my own good.)

The show was already going down-hill when I started posting these screeds on a weekly basis, but while I've come to loathe so much of what the show has become, I'll never regret getting into the fandom and meeting so many awesome people. I'm happy about the fic I read and wrote and the number of you who I now consider genuine friends.

And now back to our regular vitriol in progress.

IF you actually bought into that ending and are currently nothing but a big moist puddle of squishy, shippy, slashy squeeeee, you may want to skip this. I intend to inject a dollop of reality into the conversation and harsh your squeeeeee to the best of my ability. It's for your own good.

OK, it wasn't QUITE as bad as it could have been, but it wasn't nearly as good as it should have been. They came so close to telling a genuinely honest story about the journey that House and Wilson have been on since the pilot and then completely wussed out.

Allow me to tell you a story. No, it's not the Twin Peaks story. It's two movies that I both desperately wanted to love and that completely let me down by having happy endings. Muriel's Wedding and Boogie Nights. (I just googled and was shocked to find out that they were three years apart, because they are so bound up in my mind as having the exact same failure. I always felt I saw them in the same week. WEIRD.) Muriel's Wedding should have ended with Muriel trapped in her loveless marriage and Boogie Nights should have ended with Dirk dying of AIDS while still facing criminal charges. THOSE are the stories those films were telling. Yes, they might have been bleak and miserable and kept the films from making any money, the but "happy endings" were tacked on and a cheat and had NOTHING to do with what had gone before. Just like the end of this episode.

Constant readers will not that I have been saying FOR WEEKS that Wilson would not die (at least on screen) and that Chase would be the NEW HOUSE. I've also been saying that House would probably die. Unfortunately as soon as it looked like I was right, the Howard Hunter rule kicked in. HOWEVER, he should have died. The only ending that has ever made sense is the one we almost got. House, the miserable addict, dies. Miserably. Bleak. Ugly. AND the only thing that every single moment has been trying to tell us for eight years. Because people don't change. In fact 48 or some minutes of this episode was still trying to tell us that. But Mr. David Shore, the king of the Crack Monkeys, top of all his other myriad failings showed a complete and utter lack of balls.

It was actually shaping up to be the kind of episode I do like. I was spoiled for Kutner and Cameron, but NOT for Amber and Stacy. I really liked all those scenes and was even willing to forgive Kutner for his previous existence. The Cameron scenes were amazing. Jennifer Morrison was awesome, although it was a last rub of salt to remind us what a massively missed opporunity it was NOT to do House/Cam in the 3rd season and let that angst play out leading to Cam's leaving. Jen and Hugh still had tremendous chemistry and it made perfect sense for House to see Cam as the one who wants to help him get away from his pain without making her reiterate the "damaged people" stuff.

As much as I hated Stacy back in the day and said some pretty nasty stuff about Sela Ward, it was GREAT to see and hear her. All of those scenes were well played and written, including the stuff with the patient. Yes, it was a little more anvillicious than necessary, but we're a long way from Three Stories. It worked thematically in that once again the patient WAS clearly House.

There were a few cringe-worthy moment of House being forced to spell out emotion, but at least they were mostly ameliorated by the fact that he was still using the emotion to manipulate people and was NEVER purely unselfish.

I REALLY HATED the Dead Poets Society shout out. Sorry. No. Yes, in-joke, HAHAH! FUCK YOU SHORE! If I'm supposed to believe this is still a real verse and House really exists...NO! BUT maybe I'm not supposed to. The only way the ending works is if it really didn't happen.

Tin Hat Theory 1-House has been in a coma since No Reason or Merry Little Christmas. This is just the last chapter of his hallucination.
Tin Hat Theory 2-House didn't get out. He's dead. The ending is his dying hallucination.
Tin Hat Theory 2-Wilson is DEAD! He ran into the building to save House and was killed in the explosion. House is dead too. The ending is Wilson's dying hallucination.

All of those work. They make sense. Because the only other acceptable ending is Wilson dies. House is alone and House goes on. OR House dies and Wilson mourns and then dies. The House-verse is that kind of place. There are no happy endings. Everybody lies. People don't change.

So the ending is bullshit. And I hate it so very, very much because it's clearly written to make a certain kind of person happy. I hate seeing blatant manipulation via a fake happy ending. I hate seeing people who should know better melt into puddles of good because they think they're getting the validation they've been waiting for with a fan ficcy "riding into the sunset ending" which can then be translated into five months of sex. As if David Shore is now patting them on their puppy-dog like heads and saying, well we never acknowelged it or let them have a genuinely "gay" moment on screen, but here's your little wink-wink nudge-nudge crap-covered twinkie. Enjoy. Yum. Yum. Yum.

And I say no. Greg House does not change. He doesn't walk away from the thing we've just proven once again he does care about---the puzzles, for some illusion of a schmoop-oopy, twu-wuv, curtain-buying, motorcycle riding, slash-fic induced delusion of five months with Wilson. NO. I am deeply disgusted and insulted on my own behalf AND that of anyone who buys into this crap.

If you do. If you've read all this and put your fingers in your ears and la-la-la'ed and think you still got the ending of your dreams, let us think on this a second. People don't change. For the sake of argument, House MIGHT temporarily convince himself otherwise. What does he now have? Five months of fucking Wilson? Except he's walked away from what he cares about---the puzzles. How soon before he gets bored? Sees a sick person in a diner and has to figure it out and somehow gives himself away? OR just gets BORED. Cancer is boring and Wilson is about to become nothing but cancer. Does he really think that Wilson is going to become "Kyle Calloway" AND still be his schmoopy-oopy fuck buddy for five months? Does he think he's going give a shit for five months?

Yes, I'm sure some people really want to believe THAT'S what the H/W story really is. That their love is just so special. If that's what you need to believe, fine. But if you've been paying attention for 8 years, you know better.

AND just to squeeze the last possible iota of joy out of this delusion....WHAT IF House has changed. It's all true. He's giving it all up for Wilson and he's going to be happy and they'll ride motorcycles and fuck their way across the country like the worst piece of Mary Sue fic ever written. Wilson still dies. House is now alone and has given up his future. He can't go back. Yes, the show is over, so it doesn't matter AND if the show went on, they'd find a way to re-set it again, BUT by the terms they just set down, the actual ending, five months down the line is Wilson gone and House with nothing to live for.

Are we supposed to anticipate a Thelma and Louise type thing, where they kill themselves together to avoid Wilson dying in pain and House being alone. Is that the happy ending you think you got?

At the very least it's House with the guy who has hurt him more consistently over the years than anyone. If I was a vidder, I would create a video to "Hurt" by Timi Yuro showing nothing but moments where House looks utterly gutted by things Wilson has said or done to him.


ETA-I also call BULLSHIT!!!! on House having any desire or interest in getting in touch with Dr. Nolan. That was a completely pointless cameo.

ETA: Hey Stacy, nice to mention that you're still in love with House. Is MARC there to hear that?

The sad part is that I once answered a meme question about a perfect H/W ending with the idea of a Casablanca ending. Implied possible sex and some kind of walk into the sunset. However that sunset was always in the context of PPTH. It was also before the past 6 years of undermining H/W with the Tritter arc, Amber, Sam etc, ALTHOUGH we'd already been through Sports Medicine and House Vs God by them, so the pattern was set. I was just young and stupid.

Now I'm old and wise and that's how I know this was a piss-poor way to go out.

Sorry, Charlie!

The fic does go on however. I have one great angst epic still in the works, and I trust that my writing friends still have fic to write that will actually be about the characters instead of this pathetic distortion

Thanks again, guys!

It'll be nice having my Monday nights back, although I honestly it was all over by the time they moved to Mondays, especially once they'd already done an in-joke referencing Tuesday nights.
Tags: cameron, house babble, house md, house/wilson, hugh laurie, james wilson, robert chase, robert sean leonard

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