Fandom: Torchwood RPF
Characters: John Barrowman/Captain Jack, references to cast members and sig others.
Word Count: 400
Rating: PG13 for language
Notes/Warnings: Written for msp_hacker, who participated in my Eeeeevil Karaokegal 13/Ianto challenge and requested fic with Jack or John in it.
Based on the last question in this Interview , as well as some of John's other interviews.
Includes possible spoilers for Series 3 Dr. Who and Series 2 Torchwood and oh yeah, lots of crack!
Thanks to haldane and Beta Goddess Carol for the look-over and suggestions.
New rule, he decided, surveying the wreckage of the living room: No more cast parties at his house.
Waking up in bed with Eve, who was only wearing her undies, had been a bit of a shock. Nothing had happened, of course, but Jack would have done it, and here he was to annoy John as he sat down to some orange juice and toast before tackling the clean-up.
“What kind of idiot are you?”
“Would you mind not smiling at me until I’ve had some aspirin?”
“My god, did you see her?”
“How could I not see her? She barely had a stitch on!”
“I can tell you’re getting excited; the accent’s coming on strong. So why didn’t you...?”
“Have you seen my partner?”
“Mr. Donkey Dong, as you so delicately put it? Yeah, but I didn’t see him here last night.”
“You had this hot woman practically naked in bed and please don’t tell me you were drunk because I’ve been way drunker than that and it didn’t stop me.”
“I’m not you. No matter what anybody thinks.”
“They think that because you keep teasing them. All those bits about how you never know what may happen in the future. That little ‘titty wank’ remark What was that about, if you’re not just the slightest bit flexible?”
“Hey, that was just me having fun. It doesn’t mean I’m going to screw my co-star when it turns out she can’t handle a few Jagermeister shots.”
“Too bad. You could have had a good time. She is so hot for you.”
“Her and who else’s army?”
“Who says you’re not like me?”
“Look where you end up.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I think you know, Mr. Giant Head In a Jar.”
“Oooh! Low blow. Don’t believe everything Russell tells you. And lay off the scones.”
“How am I going to get any action if you’re all paunchy?”
“Been a little busy lately.”
“Marsters keeps weights in his trailer.”
“Could you leave now, unless you’re planning to help me clean up this mess?”
“It’s worse than you think. Wait till you find out what Freema and Burn got up to on the couch. At least they had more fun than you did.”
John opened his eyes to find himself alone at the table with half-eaten toast that he didn’t remember biting into.
Definitely no more parties at his place.