Now to some extent, I encouraged or led him on, because I didn't quite realize the dynamic that was going on until it was too late, so much so that I encouraged his story-telling by buying him a drink. I'm used to being able to have long, slightly inappropriate conversations with men at the Mint, because it is primarily a gay bar
Not that this guy was any prize. I wasn't attracted or even flattered by the attention, so once I did buy a clue that Troy was only trying to get laid, I was able to step back and observe him in action, right down to the truly hilarious moment when he tried to use Amber, (and her bodacious tatas) who was even more skeeved out than I was, and was sitting next to her BOYFRIEND, to try and make me jealous.
Once I'd made it clear that being married was actually an impediment to shtupping him, he moved on to hostility and borderline abusiveness, and left my area with his beer, a shot and I think another potential victim.
I then proceeded to get soaked walking home in the rain, but it was warm rain and it's just a few blocks, so that was ok.
About the big work drama....
Tuesday morning there was an email from Asia, basically saying (Emily Litella voice) "Never mind." The employee is not getting a ticket because "the nature of her assignment has changed," whatever that means. With that the query as to the amount of the refund was no longer being questioned. Which gave me a day of relief, but didn't solve the problem. Now that I know the refund was never done I STILL have to have find out how much it was and what the Agency has to do to reimburse the firm....and deal with the fact that this will open the whole "but you said it was already refunded can of worms.
So that gave me three more days of agonizing and I do mean agonizing, to the extent of barely being able to eat or sleep, before I was able to tell Carol. You have to believe me, I was a mess. I was afraid to ride my bike because I thought I'd be too distracted. So I whinged and whined and beat myself. Updated resume, started reaching out to old contacts....
On Thursday afternoon, I finally talked to Carol....and groveled and apologized and she basically said, "OK, find out how much and we'll deal with it. Have a good Thanksgiving."
And that was it. So all that drama-queening and....poof!
I still think there could be some nasty repercussions, and maybe she just went easy because she needed to get out of the office, but the big bitch-slap didn't happen, and I put myself and others through hell for three days, and it was just....basically "Get over yourself, big guy!"
So there's still self-examinatin to be done, since those who've been with me since I got to LJ WILL (and have) notice certain self-destructive behavior patterns in both the screwing up, the covering-up, the drama over coming clean, and then the anti-climax.
And the cycle starting again.
So the question is can I chance the pattern at any level or do I really need to go find something that doesn't cause the patter. OR am I so addicted to the pain that I will find a way to create it, no matter what setting I'm in?