Either 1/2 lb or absolutely no weight loss this week.
This is why Geneen Roth (my food guru) says to stay off the scale. Unfortunately, I'd gotten in to a massive state of denial and couldn't break out until I saw a number that was edging toward 200. Keep in mind I'm only 5' 3 1/2" and you'll understand why that's a bad bad thing. Yeah, I know about the HEAS theory, but just...NO!
So I stopped the really self-destructive eating and started getting back to push-ups, core-work, cardio etc. Made the commitment to weigh in once a week and aim for 2 lbs (no more) per week.
And I was doing OK, until last week, when I only lost 1 1/2 and the insane, cray-cray, self-destruction thinking starting in. I decided that the way I was comfortably eating, which included tuna salad on a bagel or curried chicken salad on a croissant from the deli downstairs wasn't diety-y enough. Too many "bad" carbs. Too much fat in the croissant and the mayo etc etc.
Switched over to salads from Mixt Greens, dressing on the side and barely used. (At least until Wednesday's Ceasar when I practically licked the little dressing container clean.) I tried to beef up cardio and weights and pushups and went on a really grueling (for me) bike excursion with Hubby last Friday.
All this with my lower back pinched nerve/muscle spasm situation causing me to live on Ibuprofen with the occasional Vicodin treat when it gets so bad I can't sit down or stand up without screaming.
And this week? NOTHING. Or maybe 1/2 pound, since it's one of those scales that never really settles down.
Major stinkin' thinkin' is setting in. Definitely potential "Oh I can't lose weight anyway, might as well start binging again" thoughts.
So now I need to figure out where to go....a week of salads (mostly dry) is producing less progress than a week with sandwiches that have heavy amounts of mayo and lots of carbs.
I am doing weights, and muscle weighs more than fat, but it ain't like I'm Linda Hamilton in Terminator 2 or anything.
Could be going back to drinking an Odwalla shake around 4AM to get some ibuprofen down down before the gym.
Or it's just my body being obnoxious. In fact, I have a feeling there's quite a bit of guck stuck in my lower intestine at the moment, or wherever that stuff hangs out before it gets to where it can exit the body. Not necessarily 2 lbs worth---I hope, but enough to make a difference.
THIS IS WHY I HATE BOWING DOWN BEFORE THE GREAT SCALE GOD. But lack thereof let me blow up to over 190.
I still FEEL like I'm looking better. And I know it's a process. I'm just frustrated.
I think I'm going to go back to the sandwiches, since the satiety factor was greater and allowed me to feel less "diety" during the day, but the Odwalla shakes have got to go.