karaokegal (karaokegal) wrote,

This is what diet-crazy will do to you.

Valentine's Day is this Friday. Hubby, being the lovely, romantic guy that he is, floats the idea of us going out for a romantic Valentine's Day dinner.

My immediate reaction: DEAR GOD, NO!

Not because of the very good and rational reasons to put a kibosh on such an outing such as the hassle of getting reservations, or the fact that I'm already in the middle of several work-related shit-storms and Friday has every likelihood of being totally hellacious, meaning that I could well get home late, and when I do I will be in no state to do much but curl up in a fetal position and curse my lot in life, or just the fact that all our favorite restaurants will likely be filled up with other Valentiners and not as interested in catering to our every whim.



I've got my regime down in such a way that my ONE (1) budgeted splurge meal, at a restaurant that I'm already familiar with and where I can splurge in a way that won't trigger a major dumpster-dive style binge or leave me depressed, angry or unsatisfied because my one splurge went tits up, is working for me. (Down another pound this week for instance.)

Obviously to express this is to come across as a crazy and unromantic person. So I kind of suck.

But I nearly had a melt-down on Sunday when our go-to place was too crowded and we had to go elsewhere. It worked out. I had two amazing pumpkin spice pancakes and a fruit cup and it was fine, but I was starting to panic attack beforehand.

Further batshittery----

I hate wool hats. I think they are ugly and mess up my hair and make me look like I'm trying to be some graphic novel version of a waifish skateboard goth chick.

But I got a wool hat for doing the Turkey Run on Thanksgiving and I love it. I wear it under my helmet on the bike and I wear it when I run/walk/run and I wear it to the gym.

The other day when I ran/walk/ran 10 miles in the rain, it got soaked so I put in on the shower door to dry and then I put it....somewhere. One of my little fugue state black out things where I put something somewhere and then just blank out. So I couldn't find MY HAT. My TALISMAN. Hubby offered to let me use one of his, but NO, I WANTED MY HAT!!!! If I didn't have MY HAT I wouldn't lose anymore weight. I'd stop exercising. The world would end.

Then I realized I was being crazy. When I went to Whole Foods on Monday, they had a very nice selection of what I suppose are organic/hippy-dippy/fair-trade wool hats and I purchased one telling myself it would be fine if I wore a different hat.

The following morning I found MY HAT hiding under Hubby's Chrome Messenger bag.

I love my hat!
Tags: blog, diet, exercise, food, hubby, journal, personal

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