karaokegal (karaokegal) wrote,

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An epiphany and the end of a relationship.

On Monday, I was in the gym, doing a bicep curl with a 40 lb barbell. I've been doing weight training since 1999 and I've never managed to get over 40lbs for that exercise. And right in the middle of doing it, all I could think was, "I don't want to do this anymore."

For the past year, I've been trying to maintain a yoga practice and still do weight-training at least three times a week. I've been terrified that if I stop doing the weights, I'll turn into a shapeless blob, but I've also been bemoaning the lack of progress in my yoga practice. In other words, I've been half-assing both. Plus still trying to do a bike ride once a week. For awhile I was doing yoga and weights on the same days, but that was a bit too compulsive and with my exercise abstinence, I'm only allowed to do one thing a day.

It took a few days to over-come my fear, but I KNOW if I really commit to the yoga, it will help maintain my muscle tone and be much better for flexibility and peace of mind.

Along with giving up the gym, I'm de facto completing my divorce from the Evil Scale God. Since the only scale I trust is the one at the Montgomery Street 24 Hour Fitness and after this I won't have access. I had already made a commitment not to get on the scale for the rest of this year, but assumed I could go to Montgomery St next year and see what's going on.

Now that I don't have that scale...well I can't trust any other. This is of course crazy brain because any scale can always have been recalibrated at any time.

Anyway-tonight I went downtown and bit the bullet. It's over.

I have some dumbbells here in the house, as well as my foam roller and stability ball, but the access to the big machines and "my" scale are gone.


Now it's just me and my yoga and no excuses.
Tags: blog, exercise, journal, personal
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