karaokegal (karaokegal) wrote,

It's that time again...

And unfortunately, I don't just mean time for Santa Foreman.

More nasty survey comments. Specific. Personal. Basically saying I'm slow, stupid, bad at my job, not engaging, reflecting badly on Amex, and should be fired.

My Team Leader continues to tell me not worry, that no one "upstairs" thinks anything of the kind, that my job is in no peril, that lots of card members love me...and I still have to find a way to work on these issues.

It's painful and yes I did cry a little, but I didn't binge or overeat over it.

You'd think going through the ship wars and being on the bad side of some serious fandom hateboners would give me a thicker skin about this kind of thing, but not so much.

And let's not forget that I brought that hate upon myself and there must be some kernel of truth in the critiques as well.

This is not an easy time to find compassion or truly want ALL beings to be happy, joyous and free, or to inventory my part in this, but not doing that can only lead me back to the food.

I'm grateful for my Yoga, Kirtan, my program, my sponsor, my food buddy and my job.

I'm trying to be grateful for the miserable bastards, and I'm sure there's at least one who is a "repeat" reviewer, who are giving me the opportunity to improve my performance. And you know it don't come easy.

ETA-The one I really feel bad for is my Team Leader because she gets upset seeing how upset I get about this stuff, and it's still her job to tell me.
Tags: blog, journal, personal, work

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