karaokegal (karaokegal) wrote,

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Ego, attachment, hubris, Karma.

Or as I like to call them, The Usual Suspects.


So the other day, I was all happy and calm and blissed out and planning to do a post lauding my Yoga teacher, Adrianna and my Kirtan Guru, Astrud, because I'd had a great (sweaty) class, and good chanting and managed to saunter through airport security without setting off any bells. Now I do believe without reservation that my state of mind has a lot to do with whether I go BEEP BEEP BEEP and have to get patted down or hand-swiped vs just cruising in and going straight to work. However, I think we all know (or I see now) that as much as I do love my teachers (in at least one case, there's a girl-crush involved) the post would also have been a way to laud myself and seek asspats for doing all the practices necessary to keep myself in this serene peace of mind state.

As it was I didn't get around to doing the post, but I was still feeling kind of smug.

Last night on my way out of work, my Iphone went wonky. No internet, no cellular, no texting. No FACEBOOK! Heavens to Murgatroyd!!! Nothing on BART. Nothing in the neighbordhood. NOTHING IN MY APARTMENT!!! My phone did not acknowledge the internet in my apartment. And I lost my shit.

Now for the record...losing my shit these days looks and sounds a lot different than the full-blown binging, sugar-crazed, temper tantrum of yore, but it still wasn't pretty and when I talked to Hubby (who was at work) there was still the implication in my tone that this was all his fault for "forcing" me to get an Iphone in the first place, which got me habituated to having the interwebs available at all time. Meanwhile he was going through some stuff at work, and if I'd been paying attention instead of having my head stuck up my own arse, I'd have been able to give him the compassion he needed and deserved instead of ringing off after a perfunctory I Love You to go try and deal with the phone issue.

A few minutes later all was well with the world again. Not sure if it was a T-Mobile issue or if my rebooting the modem helped, but either way, I was able to email my food to my food buddy and my craziness returned to normal operating levels.

In the cold (very cold) light of day, I'm super disappointed with myself that all my sanity and serenity went out the window in the face of being separated from the almighty internet for however long it would have been.

Did I mention that for Halloween, I will be Tara, Goddess of Compassion?

Oh the Irony.
Tags: blog, hubby, journal, personal

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