Step 1. Enter into Google the following text: "your first name was arrested for"
It is important to include the quotation marks.
Step 2. Copy and paste the relevant sentence from the result you find most amusing on the first page.
"Murder." "You're shittin' me." "That's what they said." "Miriam was arrested for murder?"
"That's what I just said." "Who'd she kill?" "They didn't say. ...
It figures that I'd kill someone and it would end up in a book.
Now, my minions! Go forth and find hilarity in the wrongdoings of those who share your name!