April 16th, 2006

Rose

Living in the past

I did some cleaning up over the weekend. I'm trying to make some space in my closet, in my apartment, in my life. I've got all my journals, letters, birthday cards from at least 1982. The birthday cards and run numbers, I can let go of, but I can't toss my journals and I certainly can't toss the letters from my father. From the time I left NJ in 1987, he wrote or emailed me at least once a week, sometimes once a day. He passed away in 2002 and I'm not quite past it yet. I was a total Daddy's girl. Most of the letters and email printouts are fairly mundane ramblings plus the ongoing angst of his two Noirs-his weight and his brother. I can't let go of the Daddy letters because I'm afraid it would mean letting go of my relationship with him. (Is this ooky and weird?)
The other problem is that I maintain this delusion that I will (despite evidence to the contrary) somehow become famous enough to warrant a biography and that someone will need the journals and letters (and maybe the Birthday cards too.)
I can't let go of the letters without letting go of the delusion. Those of us who watched the Eugene O'neill thing on PBS (in my case because of Robert Sean Leonard) know how important pipe dreams are.

In a continuing family vein...I got an email from my mom today. Turns out my sister is on LJ. I'm willing to bet she is NOT in any fandoms that I'm in.
Probably LOTR or HP or some other SF/Fantasy based fandom. We both grew up in SF/Trek. I asked mom for my sister's username, but rather sneakily and smugly did not provide my own. My mom's never been particularly slash-friendly (not a phobe, just not a slash fan) and I'm sure the RPS would squick her out a bit. I once asked if she liked House MD, but she said it was "too nasty". I don't know if thay refers to the grossout (blood vomiting!) or the snarkiness.
She's probably a Grey's Anatomy fan. :(

And...because I'm a sucky grand-daughter/neice/cousin, I totally bailed on any attempt to spend Pesasch with anyone I'm related to.

I woke up this AM to pissing rain (surprise) so to celebrate Easter, I took the plot bunny I'm working (H/W) to the gym and we schlepped around on the treadmill together. It's a cute bunny, but it was having a hard time keeping up.
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    Living In The Past-Jethro Tul
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