April 23rd, 2009

Yield

You guys are not going to believe this...

Hubby just called. He's in an ambulance on his way to Kaiser. Another bike accident. He says it's not that serious, and that he hit some gravel and lost control of the bike. I don't have to run up to the hospital immediately, but I'm going to have to deal with getting the bike back AGAIN. And he says it's his leg...so I don't know if it's the same leg, or what that means and if he's going to be off work again.

Frankly, I'm just numb and annoyed and want to smack him and tell him that maybe we seriously need to look at giving up the bike. (We were talking about doing a trip up to Muir Woods or something this weekend. That would seem to be not happening.)

Looks suspiciously like my week off will see me back in care-taker mode.


ETA---UPDATE 11:19AM

IT'S THE SAME KIND OF FRACTURE ON THE OTHER LEG!!!!!!

ANOTHER FUCKING PLATEAU FRACTURE.

So the original "they'll pop it back in" routine he was selling me a few hours ago...not so much. Mind you...he's only been back at work for three months following the six months he needed off from the last fracture.

I'm completely numb at the prospect of going through this again.

He's made the decision that he is now an ex-biker.

If I have to spend a week sitting in the hospital room, I'm determined to make sure I'm writing most of the time. Last year I read New Yorkers, instead of writing. Not this time.

At least, thank god, he's at Kaiser and NOT SF General. The ER is NOT full of people on gurneys screaming and bleeding.

Did I mention his sister is still in the hospital from her latest fall/bone break as well, so I'm probably going to have to deal with her?

MAJOR STRESS.

Man this would be a good time for some sugar.
Moody Wilson

Handbag Meme

Because stress makes me want to do silly things.

Ganked from tourmaline1973

No to the peace, yes to the creativity, and definitely yes to the whirlwind, although I'm not so sure about pulling it together.


What Your Handbag Says About You
You tend to be relaxed throughout the day. You are naturally at peace.

You are a high maintenance person. You feel lost outside of your normal environment.

You are a very creative person. Your life tends to be a whirlwind, but you always seem to pull it together.

You are an outgoing and expressive person. You always speak your mind, and you're very approachable.

External Fixation

Surgery is scheduled for 530PM. They're doing "external fixation" which basically means it's going to be Robo-cop Leg time again. I feel like I'm re-living my worst nightmare, including the delay in surgery, although hopefully not as long as last time. I seriously can't believe this is happening again. Can. Not. Believe. It. I don't know if I can go through the crap with the nursing homes again. I don't know if his job is going to be all that thrilled about another 6 months missing. I don't know if he's going to be able to cope emotionally with the pain and rehab and the amount of anger he's got to be feeling at himself right now. It's really hard not to get all up in his face with a lot of "how can you do this to me?" but I know he's got to be beating himself up twice as hard.

Thanks to everyone who's been sending messages and hugs or just good vibes. You guys are so awesome. :)


ETA-558PM--Another here we go again...still no surgery. He says that I shouldn't even bother coming up tonight because by the time he's out of surgery, they'll probably be trying to throw me out anyway. I feel like crap not going up there and not seeing him till after work tomorrow. I might go up tomorrow before work just to see him for a few minutes.

Song Lyric Prompt a Day-2009 day 112

Prompts can be used for any fandom, pairing, or even original fic, if you like. (Yes, any.) All I ask is that you credit me with providing the prompt and comment with a link to the entry.

Thanks to mardahin for the suggestion and the MP3.



Prompt #112



Once I rose above the noise and confusion
Just to get a glimpse beyond this illusion
I was soaring ever higher
But I flew too high


Carry On Wayward Son-Kansas
Written by Kerry Livgren
From the album Leftoverture
kissing me

One more update

Before I crash and burn for the night.

Hubby's doctor gave me a call. For some reason I wanted to smack him. Probably just my own frustration and anger and nerves about the situation.

Basically we're looking at last year ALL OVER AGAIN. The whole six months. He's had the external fixation (Robo-cop Leg)and they're not going to do the actually surgery to repair the leg until May 5. Then it's the whole rehab and recovery thing. The big question is does he go back to one of the "skilled nursing facilities" (nursing home hell) or does he do it at home? I don't think coming home is plausible. I can't take time off to take care of him and how can he be home with no one to empty the pee-bottle? Or without morphine?

On the other hand, being home for either period (pre or post surgery) would be so much better for his morale.

Plus, it looks like psycho-sis might get released from HER hospital tomorrow and there's no one to take her home. No idea how we're going to deal with this. NONE!

But I do have my wonderful, AWESOME, f-list looking out for me.

hllangel wrote me a drabble featuring real!Jack at his finest.
Suspension.
Go. Read. Give love.