If I were a filker I’d be tempted to break out some to the tune of "Look What They’ve Done To My Song."
ETA: I do have to give props for the Piano-gasm, but not even a Piano-gasm
and a karaoke reference could save this episode from the Wrath Of K-gal.
What the fuck was that? Especially after seeing those first season episodes on USA on Sunday. Even episodes I wasn’t all that crazy about at the time, like Role Model are absolute gems of subtlety and balance and wit and characterization compared to this swill.
Once again, The Newbies Are Useless. Seriously. Did they contribute ANYTHING?
Of course it didn’t matter because there wasn’t really a patient, was there? Oh yeah, there was a guy with some symptoms, but that wasn’t a patient, that was a plot point. Where was the puking blood, the peeing, the badly over-acted seizures? OK, one stroke, but still? Did we even see a medical procedure? An MRI of Dooooom? I may have been distracted by throwing things at the screen, so let me know if I missed something.
Also, did we need a rehash of the House/Foreman dynamic from the Foreman Runs The Department Arc? It was semi-amusing once. Barely. Especially when Wilson said he’d need a sword and a toga. If I don’t get Omar in a skirt, I don’t want to hear it.
So let’s get to what was really going on here. The House/Wilson/Amber. This script was co-written by David Shore, so it was no surprise that they walked the edge of giving us House/Wilson, while undermining it at every step.
Heretical comment (based on those season one eps again): Thinks were better before the writers were acknowledging House/Wilson. One hates to drag the chestnut out again, but there is something so incredible powerful about RSL’s voicebreak and Hugh’s lowered eyes during the “stupid screwed up friendship” scene in Babies and Bathwater. It’s all there. The love, the sex, the angst, the passion, whatever you want, but it’s not being foisted on us in a smarmy, over-the-top, subtle as a moose’s erection kind of way.
What is really confusing me is what they’re doing with Wilson. The only way I could make any sense of what happened is that he’s being a passive-aggressive son of a bitch. Either he really loves having them fight over him and doesn’t want to make a decision. (Hey, savemoony, maybe you’ll get your threesome after all,) or he’s already sick of Amber and he wants House to get rid of her for him. Either way he comes across as utterly wimpy and unlikable, which he never was before.
House joking about Wilson’s penis (again) does not make me feel warm and fuzzy about my OTP. It annoys me. Ditto Wilson betraying House (again.) The fact that Hugh&Bobby are still acting the hell out of this crap is the only thing keeping the ship alive. The fanservice is actually killing it, which (time for paranoid bitching of a paranoid bitch) may be Shore’s intention.
Of all the times and places to bring out implications of House/Cameron. WTF???? When I hoped the shippers would get something to alleviate their misery, this wasn’t what I had in mind.
First of all, did ANYONE really fall for the syphilis scam? I can understand the Newbies, cause they’re fucking idiots. But FCC have been through Half-Wit and they still bought this shit? That’s just insulting to all three characters. Even Cameron. Especially Cameron.
And to drag out the whole “Did you sleep with him?” WHY BOTHER? NO SHE DID NOT. We know she didn’t. Do not tell me that David Shore has given up on his House/Cam lust. He has not. Neither has Katie. It was incredibly awkward and unbelievable.
And you know what folks, there was a time where Hugh and Jen were being given scenes that weren’t excruciating to watch, even if you were on a different ship. Watch the “I’m not going to crush you,” scene again. Look at Hugh’s face. Stunning.
The only thing worse was the WTFuckery between House and Cuddy at the end. Was that supposed to be flirting? It’s like someone went around spraying Anti-Chemistry all over the set. It didn’t affect Hugh&Bobby because nothing can, but it got to everybody else, especially RSL and Anne Dudek, although I don’t know if that’s a deliberate acting choice or a direction one so that no one could possible get invested in the pairing.
Excuse me, the only other couple resistant to the anti-chemistry were House and Chase.
Please please please, I am begging someone out there to write me some House/Chase bowling smut or at least some Chase post-bowling lust. Jesse was looking F-I-N-E in his and I actually believed in him as a trying to be a Wilson replacement, but knowing he couldn’t be. Just the right amount of humor and angst. Delicious. Best scene in the episode hands down, which is saying a lot.
B/T/W-I hated the ending with a passion, much as I love The Supremes. Do you really believe that House would be making nice with Amber and cleaning up poop, while Wilson stands by looking amused? Since when does House do anything based on Cuddy's authority? See my angst-fic for the “real” ending.
A question for the teeming millions, even if you haven't see this particular episode.
When did H/W subtext become blatant fanservice? (And do you think it’s a good thing or a bad thing?)
Discuss amongst yourselves.