Title: This One's For You
Fandom: House MD
Notes/Warnings: Missing scene from Human Error. This is a "real" House/Cameron fic, so if you're a hard-core H/W shipper who can't stand the idea of House/Cam even as a wank-fantasy, don't bother clicking. Dedicated to the gang at house_cameron, this one really is for you and I'm sorry about the last time. Another fab job by beta_goddess, who's one of the hardest core of H/W fans, but is always willing to help me walk on the bifictional side.
Summary: There's not enough rum to make him forget.
He never thought she’d leave.
Cameron had stuck with him in spite of rudeness, cruelty and outright rejection, and now she’d decided to go, just when she was getting feisty enough to be interesting. Because he had fired Chase?
House had spent the evening trying to convince Esteban and himself that he didn’t care. Esteban was an easy enough sell since he’d already equated House with God, which House considered both an insult and a demotion. The rum had brought comfort, along with the unfortunate need to join Esteban in a few choruses of “Guantanamera” -- enough choruses for Brenda to use the cigars as an excuse to get him thrown out of ICU.
Now he was alone in his office with the reality that Cameron wouldn’t be there tomorrow or any other day. His leg ached and his comfortable chair offered no comfort as he was hounded by memories of missed opportunities.
Coward, snotted a voice in his head, the word he so often applied to others who didn’t meet his level of so-called bravery. The whole time he’d been deriding her “niceness” and “caring” he’d been covering up his fear that he didn’t deserve her and, worse, wouldn’t be able to satisfy her.
The pain and pills had done a number on that part of his life. Hookers weren’t cheap: the money paid for patience and persistence and the right not to give a damn when it didn’t work.
None of which was necessary now, as his mental slide-show continued. Her eyes. Her smile. The voice. That kiss. The brief moment where their lips and tongues touched, the only time he’d come close to letting go, knowing she had an ulterior motive, because that was the only thing he could respect.
Damn, he was horny. And hard, even after the day’s usual complement of Vicodin and the booze he’d been knocking back.
The door wasn’t locked and he didn’t care. Anyone who walked in now deserved what they got, especially if it was Cuddy. There was some lotion in his desk drawer, but that was a world away right now and he didn’t necessarily want this to be soothing anyway.
He undid his jeans and found his erection waiting for him, with typical bad timing. House gave his dick a friendly, if exasperated, squeeze and felt it twitch back in sympathy. Or was it joining the chorus that called him an idiot? Now it would never get to…
“Shut up,” he growled.
His balls were rumbling with need, tightening under his fingers. Fluid had already formed at the tip, giving him the slightest hint of lubrication as he pushed back the foreskin and let himself imagine her soft hands touching him, exploring.
Somewhere behind his eyes, he saw her smile as she knelt in front of him, knowing she’d finally won. Of course, she’d be careful not to put pressure on the leg. That would be saved for her hands and mouth on his dick, moving purposefully, with a knowledge of what he needed that she had no business possessing.
He sneered at the very idea of gentleness, moving his hand back and forth quickly, letting his fantasy coarsen with anger and abandonment. He’d push her head down, make her suck harder, grab her hair and feel her struggle and then surrender, all because he could. Because she was his girl, as he’d said so long ago, even if he’d been too stupid to do anything about it.
His, damnit. Beautiful and strong and sexy and hot…so fucking hot. Like the jism that hit his hand as orgasm rolled through his body, leaving him breathless and still alone.
He gritted his teeth to avoid calling out her name and attracting attention from nosy neighbors.
Cameron, you don’t know what you’re missing.
He’d screwed up, but so had she.