WORST KISS EVER!!!
Both esthetically and relative to the plot.
Just before the episode came on, Hubby and I were watching Humpty Dumpty, which has a lot of thematic resemblance in the House/Cuddy relationship. House is generally a bastard to Cuddy throughout, with a last-minute bit of praise. Back then, you could actually believe House when he finally told Cuddy she was good at what she did, and the joking about them having sex seemed extremely plausible. (This was before the canon confirmation of Top Secret.)
Also, by the way, an episode where a so-so PoTW, is completely offset by such goodies as an interesting clinic patient plot (Mac from Night Court) that even Foreman got involved in, plus Stacy was still around. COME BACK STACY, ALL IS FORGIVEN. Seriously. I apologize for the all the Die, Stacy, Die stuff. I STILL hate what she did to House, but having her around for Cuddy to talk to was a god-send, not to mention Wilson practically pissing on House to tell Stacy to back off. (While still keeping it completely subtexty.)
This weeks piece of dreck combined the worst aspects of Finding Judas and Fetal Position. House's criticism of Cuddy verges on abusive and he doesn't have detox to blame it on, and it seems completely out of proportion. Using Wilson as House/Cuddy cheerleader is ineffective. If they'd played on House's miserable expression from last week indicating that he's worried about Cuddy's baby making her more attractive to Wilson, I'd believe it. House worrying about Cuddy giving her attention to someone besides HIM is too vague. He spends his time ducking Cuddy, NOT wanting her attention, and despite all the sexual jokes, and the Half-Wit ass-grab, they haven't been playing House/Cuddy chemistry lo these many years.
So when House does show up at Cuddy's low moment, to finally say "You'd be a good mother," it really comes out of nowhere. Cuddy's inital reaction was perfectly valid, and you know I'm a big proponent of hate!sex, but it wasn't that either. It was almost too obviously (Paranoid Bitching Of A Paranoid Bitch) a case of OMG! The House/Wilson is getting too obvious, we need to reaffirm House's heterosexuality!!!!
However, the show is completely schizophrenic (specifically this episode. Did House even see the mother? Wouldn't it have made sense for the team to do a differential on her?) and as a result it's one of the most UNSEXY things I've ever seen in my life. It made House/Cam look like From Here To Eternity or Gone With The Wind by comparison. If I didn't know better, I'd think it was being shot that way to convince the slashers that Het Kissing Is Icky.
Hugh's expression JUST BEFORE the kiss was good and hot, and they should have cut away right there or at least gone into long shot. As it was, the up-close, mouth-gnawing looked neither hot, nor passionate or even pleasurable. If they were trying to say "two desperate people reaching out to each other," that didn't work at all either.
Basically, given House's behaviour to Cuddy in the episode, it felt like....it just felt WRONG.
Sorry, H/Cuddy fans. I know you've been waiting a long time. You deserved better.
H/Wilson fans, we deserve better to. I HATE having Wilson be so meta as to KNOW he's giving House the epiphany. I'm still not sure if the apple thing was cute or just more fanservice and if was being used to actually subvert the House/Cuddy to come. In other words, I can't tell if TPTB are split into factions as strongly as the fans themselves or if they're just inept.
Oh yeah, the actual Patient of the Week Plot.
Kutner was acceptably non-annoying.
The opening stuff was suitably creepy, but Deran's over-done camera angles from hell were out of control.
Creepy girl was very well done. (I was kind of hoping dad would die and Cuddy would end up adopting creepy girl.)
Interesting medical mystery, but a big fuck you to the "Patients find joy as Cuddy's is being shattered."
In the interest of finding something nice to say:
Cuddy was well dressed this week. Three very nice, well-fitting blouses. Hubba hubba on the Cuddy boobage. However, booo-hisss for the washed out cinematography and minimal make-up to increase the martyred look.