But yes, yes it is a whole bunch of chicken jokes, emailed to me by Hubby, along with an update on the possibilities for the Obama-puppy to be: Apparently Malia wants a golden doodle, but President-elect Daddy is leaning towards a rescue dog.
And yes, chicken jokes are silly, but it's either that or another "I hate my job" post and I KNOW you don't want to hear that shit.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
(I really like the Anderson Cooper and Nancy Grace ones.)
SARAH PALIN: Before it got to the other side, I shot the chicken,
cleaned and dressed it, and had chicken burgers for lunch.
BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for
a change! The chicken wanted change!
JOHN McCAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he
recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all
the chickens on the other side of the road.
HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that
little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely
qualified to ensure right from Day One! that every chicken in this
country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this
really isn't about me.
GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the
road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the
road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is
no middle ground here.
DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?
COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see
the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is
your definition of chicken?
AL GORE: I invented the chicken.
JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I
am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled
about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain
AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black
DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't
realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the
road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road.
What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not
taking on his current problems before adding new problems.
OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems,
which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having
the chicken learn from his mistake s and take falls, which is a part
of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just
drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the
ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken,
but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of
NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You
can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken
was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my
eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave
me any insider information.
DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a
toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.
GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.
Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good
BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will
be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart
warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and
went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads
together, in peace.
BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken 2008, which will not only
cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and
balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of
eChicken 2008. This new platform is much more stable and will never
crash or need to be rebooted.
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the
road move beneath the chicken?
COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?