karaokegal (karaokegal) wrote,

House-babble for Last Resort

The unthinkable has happened. We have a new nominee for Worst House Episode Ever!

Ever since it first aired on January 30, 2007, I’ve stood by my assertion that the rancid piece of fecal matter titled One Day, One Room, (ODOR) was the absolute worst episode that ever been aired on House MD.
My reasons for this were the following:

The presence of the patient of the week-Sainted Rape Victim (SRV)

Character assassination in the first degree-House attempting to empathize with SRV by “revealing” his history of abuse, first at the hands of his Grandmother, which he later admitted was a lie, but then tried again by claiming it was his father. As far as I’m concerned this is still unproven and Everybody Lies, but the fact that is was even trotted out as a “humanizing” factor towards House’s personality was completely offensive to me.

House/Wilson interaction that felt rather contrived and false given that this was the first episode aired after Words & Deeds, meaning that Wilson had House’s “apology” which he could chose to believe, but still had to live with the fact that “Nothing’s changed.” To have them then bantering about “I don’t want to be you,” felt highly suspect.

The Cameron subplot with the dying homeless man, which seemed to indicate that she had not evolved one iota since Acceptance, in spite of the clear progress she had made as seen in Que Sera Sera.

I was happy to believe that even the nightmare that was season 4, (still waiting for Bobby Ewing to come out of my shower and make it go away) couldn’t get that bad.

Well, folks after wasting approximately one hour and 7 minutes of my life on last night’s episode, I gotta say, we have a new contender.

How many people involved in this episode completely and utterly failed to remotely do their jobs?

Writer-Matthew Lewis
Useless, boring, repetitious dialogue. No suspense whatsoever and big giant gaping plot holes. How did House get the guy to give up the gun? We’ll never know because the writer obviously couldn’t think of anything. House (the character) was boring. Yes, we know he likes puzzles. We also know he was shot two years ago, and has been demonstrated increasingly self-destructive behavior ever since. Any of those details might have been worked in to make this more interested. None of them were. The various hostages were given no individual personalities and therefore I didn’t care about them.

Chase pulled his little walk-out huff, NOT because it was in character but because I assume the writer couldn’t think of anything for him to do while valuable airtime was being wasted on Thirteen.

I certainly didn’t care about Mr. Whiney Ass patient, who I remember as an annoyed Government type on Numb3rs a few weeks back.

Every bit of exposition was a big snoozeathon.

By isolating House from everyone except Mr. Whiney Ass and YOU KNOW WHO (we’ll get there in a minute) you deprived Hugh Laurie of the ability to save your lousy script by acting his way out of it. EVEN HUGH LAURIE NEEDS SOMEONE TO WORK WITH. Someone who can, you know, ACT.

That would be pretty much everybody who wasn’t given a chance to do anything in this episode.
Even Wilson was sort of underplayed, in the one situation where I could have used a bit of fanservice. Where was the Wilson/Cuddy scene where they’re BOTH worried about House and sniffing a little jealousy around each other?

About the only good thing was minimal Kutner/Taub. And Cameron (I think, but I was so torpid at that point I’m not sure) getting the answer.

Teasing me with the possibility that Thirteen would actually die (when I was shouting just that at the screen) was cruel, although the promo and spoiler monkeys took away that suspense as well. I know what’s coming so I know she ain’t dead yet.
The House/Cuddy scene at the end… is that your H/Cuddy version of “Nothing’s Changed.” Did we not know that already?

Katie Jacobs-Director.
How do you take an inherently exciting situation and make it THIS FUCKING BORING? I suppose it’s a gift of sorts. Trying to spice up with a few weird camera techniques like the “Slow Motion Sickness” at the beginning doesn’t cut it.


Olivia Wilde-Much as it pains me, I’m looking at you. This is it. Your big, plum, Emmy-reel episode. You know what hon? You ain’t got the chops. Period. Your make-up did more acting than you did. Jennifer Morrison at her absolute whiny, caring-Cameron worst, was a hundred times better than you will ever be. No, I’m not interested in seeing you play Love Story with Foreman unless you promise me it will end the way the movie does. (I mean the girl dying, not the sappy love theme.)

Even the awesomely named Zeljko Ivanek couldn’t save this because he wasn’t given anything to play besides Whiney-Ass. Again, I’m forced to compare him to Kalvan. I’m not saying it had to be a gay character, (or god forbid an SRV) but there had to be SOMETHING for the actor to play to make it compelling.

The same way I’ve warmed up to Cameron and even the memory of Stacy in light of the HORROR OF 13 and the Newbies in general, I’m now verging on letting ODOR off the hook just a smidge, as it at least had some House/Wilson, good House/Cuddy snark (before the DRAH-MA set in) and House interacting with FCC as well. It still sucks. I would never willingly watch it again past the first 10 minutes-i.e. right until SRV shows up, but it wasn’t as bad as this.

Just to prove that I’m not totally negative:
There were three good things in this episode and two of them were Hugh’s arms in the t-shirt. The other one was “Florida counts,” which was actually pretty lame, but by that time I was desperate for anything remotely amusing.

Here's a poll to find out if I’m completely alone on this. (My fellow House Party Animals seemed to be pretty on board with me, but that’s a fairly self-selecting group of individuals)

Poll #1304791 Worst House MD Episode Ever

What is the worst House MD Episode Ever

1. One Day, One Room
2. Last Resort
3. All Of Season 4
4. Something else which I will tell you about in the comments.
Tags: house babble, house md, journal

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