What the hell was that? How many things that I don't care about can happen in one episode?
Dear Writers:
Wilson does not call House "Greg." He calls him House. Even in private. Even away from the hospital. Do NOT encourage simpering fantwats in their delusions of Greg/James schmoopy-oopy fluff. It doesn't exist.
House does not voluntarily put on a lab-coat. Did you not see "Control?" House risked his job and Cuddy's. He put one on to scam Greg Grunberg in "Sex Kills." He hates wearing a lab-coat. If he WAS going to do it JUST to do whatever "niceness" he was doing as part of the game with Wilson, at least someone should have noticed. He walked right by Cuddy and she never mentioned it.
NO LOVE
karaokegal Moving on,
What the fuck was up with Cuddy's hair?
Ugly ugly ugly bangs!
House/Cuddy tension was sort of working for me in the differential scenes (aside from the horror of the bangs) until she started channeling 1st season Cameron and imposing HER emotional bullshit on the girl.
Speaking of the PoTW-Kids meeets Heavy? 2nd "fat girl" in a row? Did they import the tormenters from "Mean Girls" and their hair from 1977? I haven't seen feathering like that since Season 1 Charlie's Angels? And guess what? I didn't care about her.
House/Wilson-At first I thought they were actually going somewhere with the Holmes references to Joseph Bell and Irene Adler, but then it sort of petered out. I didn't even get any good subtext out of Wilson's reaction, and I got pretty early that he was putting on Taub et al, but none of it felt right, especially since we didn't get a H/W moment like last years antler hat.
The only interesting H/W point was that they raised the specter of slut!Wilson and Grace. Which ALWAYS makes me happy. BUT if they know that, then they should know that WILSON DOES NOT CALL HOUSE "GREG"!!!!!!!!!!!!
Foreman/Thirteen/Lori Petty/Blonde Clinical trial bitch
I don't care. I just don't fucking care about any of it.
Foreman and Thirteen had a good sparkle moment and I will grudgingly say the kiss was better than the House/Cuddy of a few weeks back, because at least Foreman knows where to put his hands.
Clinic idiots/Virgin Birth-Nothing. Nada. I knew it was a scam, although not necesarily that he was going for the gift. There were some amazing shots of Hugh Laurie's eyes. That was nice.
One good Chase scene.
The yearly appearance of Cameron at the Christmas party.
Kutner was the bully? Really? The Sci-fi geek? Really? Just for some cheap irony to go along with his "touching" back-story.
How much cheap sentiment can we smoosh into a completely non-toe-tappy ending that had no emotional connection to the sort of goofy, "funny" Christmas-y thing that was going on before.
Dying teenager. Non-dead baby. Cuddy gets miracle baby because it's "too painful" for the parents. House actually says "congratulations."
All I can think is that three or four different teams of crack monkeys were working on this none of whom were allowed to talk to each other.
I can't pull out the "worst episode" banner again, but I will say "most random episode" ever, and declare that this show has definitely lost its way.
On the other hand, JON STEWART IS SO FUCKING AWESOME!