I'm dedicating this House babble to the fluff-bunnies who think they got something out of this episode and topaz_eyes who totally called a certain amount of House/Stacy parallelism in the Thirteen/Foreman plot. YOU GO GIRL!
And let's get this out of the way:
STFU Mrs. Taub
and it makes me sad to say....STFU WILSON...
The only excuse for his scenes with the patient would have been if he slept with her at that medical conference. I'm still pretty sure he did and I'm really hoping someone will do some fic about it.
So let's talk House/Wilson. Very nice ol skool H/W scene discussing the Cuddy pranks and the big prize for the H/W fluff-bunnies the scene where RSL does the voice break and urges Cuddy to stop the pranks because she's "hurting" House. Right, Wilson. That's your job, isn't it. You who hurt House terribly during the Amber period (ratting out fake STD anyone?) and he doesn't like Cuddy doing the pranks because that infringes on his relationship with House as well, even though none of them had any humor or power whatsoever.
Back in the day, the cane-cutting in Safe MEANT something. (It also meant love and pain, but never mind that.) This crap felt so incredibly empty.
I KNOW the fluffer's hearts went boom-boom at the sight of House sleeping on Wilson's couch.
And then we got the two anvilicious scenes with patient. POOR WILSON. Still mourning Amber. Stuck in a rut. So unless this is the lead-in to the banter and blow-jobs going canon or at least Wilson moving back in with House, tell me how this plays into your fluffy-wuffy happy ever after, unironic use of "Jimmy" view of House/Wilson?
Yeah, baby. It's love and it's pain and they will ALWAYS HURT EACH OTHER.
Blue the Janitor. Reference to joke in Whatever It Takes, although hllangel says it's a Scrubs reference.
Olivia Wilde can't fucking act.
Those of you who have been trying to give her benefit of the doubt: EMBRACE THE HATE!
Those of you who like the character or the actress....please tell me how you can justify either after that performance? If you're going to get that kind of screentime and material, the least you should be able to do is produce convincing tears.
As for the character...first she's all pissy at Foreman because he did something for her and she considers it an emotional imposition? Fuck you bitch. Then the instant, equally unconvincing turnaround where she loves him enough to stop him from going to the drug company?
At 8:47PM I was convinced this would be our first dead patient of the year and that she'd die so that Thirteen didn't have, which was somehow going to prove she was wrong about quitting.
I was wrong but it didn't make her any less annoying.
STFU Patient. (Unless you slept with Wilson, in which case you can stick around long enough to tell me about it.)
Meanwhile back at Chez Taub....STFU TAUB. You're wife doesn't want kids. CHILLAX and STFU!!! I swear that if they have Mrs. Taub get pregnant for any reason, it may be the one thing that gets me to stop watching.
House/Cuddy epiphany scene...badly written, weakly acted and the diagnosis was one big WTF? Or a chance for the crack monkeys to get all their menstruation jokes out of their systems.
Tie between Foreman/Thirteen and Taub/Mrs. Taub for couple I want to see LEAST in bed.
Please note that we're STILL using the original credits, which makes the omission of Cameron and Chase from the 100th episode even more insulting. We couldn't have had ONE LESS scene of Foreman and Thirteen whinging at each other? FEH!
Cheers to House for calling Kutner "Deepak." Boos to House for buying to any of this Foreman/Thirteen "love" crap.
Although at least we know that in the House-verse, Love Hurts and Sex Kills and all happy relationships are a lie. (Including you know what.)