1. You are in the Witness Protection Program and must invent a new first, last, and middle name. What's your new name?
Alexis Sue Simpson
2. You are in a threesome with two famous people, one male & one female, alive or dead
John Barrowman and Rachel Maddow.
3. You are in charge of naming your new band. What's the name of the band? What's the name of their first album?
The Super Massive Black Holes-Wake Me When It's Over
4. You are going to get a free tattoo. What and where is it?
A peach with a bite taken out and the words "Bite Me!"
Probably on my ass.
5. You are being forced to listen to one song over and over, ad infinitum, as a form of torture. What song is it?
Cats In The Cradle-Harry Chapin. I hate that thing with a vengeance.
6. You are leaving your state/province. What state do you move to?
7. You are leaving your country (remember, you're in the Witness Protection Program). What country do you move to?
England, duh (answer copied verbatim.)
8. You get to choose one book as the best ever written. What book do you choose?
9. You get to choose one movie as the best ever made. What movie do you choose?
10. You get to spend one day each as a bird, an insect, and a mammal. What bird would you be? What insect? What mammal?
11. You must choose to go blind or go deaf, what do you choose?
I always hate this question. However, at this point, there's a lot of compensations for blindness, and theoretically I could still read and write.
12. You must relive one year of your life. Which would you least like to relive? Which would you most like to relive?
Pretty much any year from my adolescence would be a dog with fleas, but I think I'm going to go with 1987, my first year in San Francisco. How I survived that I'm not quite sure.
I wouldn't mind going through 1995 again. Bill Clinton was in office and I was working at Getz Travel. I was pretty happy then.
13. You have a time machine that will take you backwards anywhere from 1800 to the present. What decade do you most want to visit?
14. You must choose to go skydiving or very-deep-sea diving. Which do you choose?
Deep sea diving
15. You get to return to the past (using that handy dandy time machine we were talking about before) and have a sexual encounter with a rock star who is no longer alive. Who do you pick?
Freddy Mercury (with protection.)
16. You get to be a contestant on any game show, airing today or in the past. What show do you want to be on?
The Original Hollywood Squares. PAUL LYNDE!!!!!
17. You are given $1 million dollars but you must give it all to one charity. What charity do you choose?
Project Open Hand.
18. You must ban one word from the dictionary and all usage, to be no longer uttered or written. What word do you ban?