Tuesday I got to the gym and went into the front pocket of my pocketbook (hand bag or purse for you non-East coasters) for the key to my gym lock (The big WORD lock was too big for the locker.)and it wasn't there. I've managed to remember to put this key back when I left the gym. Made it an absolute habit. No key. This shouldn't have been a big deal, because I've been keeping the back-up key in my gym bag. I go rooting in my gym bag. No back-up keys.
I go up to the front desk to see if lost & found has my key...they can't find the whatever it is that they keep the small "lost and found" stuff in. I work out and when I'm getting ready to leave I realize that I don't have my wallet. I carried my pocketbook from home to gym without realized that my wallet wasn't in it. My wallet adds a certain heft to the pocketbook and I didn't notice I didn't have it.
No wallet at work. No wallet at the gym when I call later. No wallet at the Mint where I could have dropped it on Monday, if I ever took it out, which I didn't. No wallet at home when I rooted through the large pile of clothing, magazines and books otherwise known as my bedroom.
At least (I told myself) it wasnt' so bad because all the important stuff (ATM, Office security card, Fast Pass and Gym Card) was in the front pocket. I'll need to get a new ID, New medical insurance cards and cancel two store cards FINE. I still think the wallet will magically turn up because I need to believe that.
Today, I had a great bonding moment with Lucy where it turned out we're both old movie, old tv geeks, who both love all kinds of obscure movie stars and we rattling off names and dates and who was married to who. (Dick Powell and Joan Blondell.) I can remember all that stuff. I can recite dialogue from "Murder My Sweet" and tell you ever actor who ever played Philip Marlowe.
I left my Desk Of Doom at about 745PM and beeped out which means I had my pocketbook to take out my Security Card. I went to Fedex to drop something off. I then went to Bart and rode back to the Mission. When I got to the corner store and needed money, only then did I realize-NO POCKETBOOK. Security card, Gym Card, ATM. ALL GONE.
I tried to call the Fedex office but they're "closed".
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK.
How come I know every plot of every House MD episode and I'm juggling at least five differnt fanfic plots right now and I CAN'T HANG ON TO MY GODDAMNED POCKET BOOK?